Today we’d like to introduce you to Marek Rudak.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Marek. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I came from an abusive household where I was criticized for everything. To this day, I still remember the tightness in my chest at my grandfather’s mere look of disapproval. At age 14, my mom remarried, and I moved from Poland to the United States. I was determined to prove my worth in the land of opportunity. Consequently, I went to the best school I got accepted to, West Point, where I graduated in the top 10 percent of my class. I volunteered for an infantry unit so that I would have a chance to attend Ranger School, jump out of airplanes, and most importantly, be as close to combat as possible. I thought that the more I put myself in dangerous situations, the more in control I’d feel in everyday life. After ten years of service, I left the Army and began working for ExxonMobil. When I was at ExxonMobil, I continued to volunteer for tough locations like Nigeria or Angola. I thought that these difficult environments would accelerate my growth in a new industry and shield me from criticism. Although I had experienced a lot of success from an earthly perspective, I still did not feel fulfilled in life.
I did what was logical. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that accomplishments are only a temporary solution. I experienced a series of setbacks – the biggest one being a nasty divorce. I was stumped. I thought I did my part, but the world wasn’t holding up its end of the bargain.
Through the process of self-reflection, prayer and study, I realized that what I was really after was love and that I wouldn’t be able to find love if I did not take steps to heal the hurts from my past.
That’s why I decided to approach love as a skill. I found that the more I grew in my ability to love, the easier it became for me to identify the dreams that God placed into my heart. Once I understood what God put me on this earth to do, I found the courage to do what was previously unimaginable for me. I quit my job to start my own business, started doing public speaking engagements, and began hosting a podcast. My old self would think that all of these actions were impossible, but once my mindset shifted, they became a natural next step.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I think the biggest struggle has been narrowing my audience. When I first started out, I wanted to be everything for everyone. That’s a recipe for a disaster because when you try to please everyone, you please no one. That was my mind telling me to play it safe.
Over time, I realized that I wanted to focus on where the biggest need is. Which also happened to be what scared me the most: Men. Very few men are taught how to properly deal with emotions because our father figures weren’t properly taught either. That’s why the need is huge. Having said that, as a man, myself I know that we are expected to be tough. Asking for help for many men is a sign of weakness.
In short, I was worried about whether I had the marketing skills to overcome social norms for men and make change happen.
Please tell us about CS1 Mindset.
Men tend to be very good at solving problems with their minds. However, when it comes to romantic relationship problems, not feeling fulfilled at work or having a hard time finding quality friends… that has very little to do with logic. These struggles are rooted in a wounded heart. For many men, something happened along the way that bruised their hearts and their logical minds took over so that they don’t experience that pain again.
That’s why as a love proficiency coach, I teach my clients how to use love as a skill to identify new approaches to old problems. In other words, as my clients grow in their ability to love, they start seeing solutions that were hidden in plain sight to their closed off hearts.
Think of me as a personal trainer who helps you leverage fitness techniques you’ve never considered to get you to a place you’ve never been able to reach before.
What makes my coaching unique are three features: God, Values, and Metrics.
#1 God: In the book of John, we learn that God is love. Who better to call on to unbind your heart so that you stop making decisions to avoid pain? That’s why I start each session with a prayer and leverage the Bible to facilitate the transformation. For example, I help my clients identify scriptures that help them drive away negative thoughts or identify themselves with the biblical characters to provide encouragement in the time of trials on the way to a transformation.
#2 Values: I help my clients to identify their three core values. This sounds simple but yet it is extremely powerful. I find that many men have a lot of values, but when everything is a priority nothing is a priority. Getting down to three values forces you to distill exactly who you are and what gives you joy. Also, during my sessions, I find that typically at least one of those values is fear based. For example, I had one client whose core value was ordered. At surface level, there is nothing wrong with that, but when we dug deeper, we found that order was actually a fear-based value that kept him stuck from takings steps of faith towards his life’s calling.
#3 Metrics: I spent 10 years in the army and 10 years in Corporate America where I learned firsthand the power of accountability as people move towards a goal. I also realize that our brains desire proof. Without that proof, change won’t stick. Consequently, I help my clients develop metrics so that they can satisfy their logical side that they are making progress. It helps clients prove to themselves that Love Proficiency Coaching isn’t just fluff and that bringing more love into their lives will always exceed their logical expectations.
If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
Seek help. It’s very hard. Particularly for men. Find a community that will support you. I did it, but I wish I would have done it sooner. There are so many amazing people and organizations that want nothing more than your success.
For example, I attended the VEL Institute’s leadership course where I met my podcasting co-host. Terry Weaver, the co-founder of VEL Institute, introduced me to Kevin Doffing who is the president of Lone Star Veterans Association (“LSVA”). I received the opportunity to speak at the LSVA Christian Lunch and also found out about Bunker Labs. Through Bunker Labs, I was accepted to a Veterans in Residence Program, where I have a WeWork office space for six months and access to all sorts of mentors… and the list goes on… but I think you get the picture!
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.cs1mindset.com/
- Email: marek@cs1mindset.com
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