Today we’d like to introduce you to Elizabeth Cobb.
Hi Elizabeth, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Growing up, I could see myself as either a broadcast journalist or a psychotherapist. After high school, I chose journalism and went to school out of state. After one year away, I returned home to regroup from a very unhealthy relationship. Part of my healing process was my own therapy. I experienced both ends of the spectrum of how helpful and unhelpful the process can be, which, ultimately led me to switch gears and pursue a degree in family studies and then a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy. It’s not unusual for therapists to become therapists because of their own life experiences. I suppose I’m no different; however, what led me down this career path doesn’t define me at all. What matters more to me is the journey along the way and where I am today.
Prior to starting my private practice ten plus years ago, I spent a chuck of time with various organizations in which grief was a predominant theme. While at Bo’s Place, a local non-profit that provides bereavement support services, I witnessed the powerful healing power of hope. I developed a saying there that grief work isn’t just hard work, it’s the heart’s work. And it is definitely both. I left Bo’s Place to open my own private practice so that I could spend more time with my family. Almost 25 years later, I’m still in the field because I regularly get to witness hope and healing.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Starting your own business is rarely a smooth process, but the most challenging struggle for me over the years has been making sure that my family knows that they are the priority. Working outside the home has meant that at times I couldn’t be where I wanted to be or it meant that I had to put something on the back burner that needed greater attention than I could give in that moment. It’s tough, and I really get the struggles that many of my clients face because I live it, too. I came to the realization along time ago that the idea of “work-life balance” is for the birds. Life is more like spinning plates, and I know that with a lot of practice we can get really good at keeping those plates up in there, but man, it’s exhausting. Instead of balance, I think a more self-compassionate approach is to think of life as a pie. Who we are and our roles make up a single pie, and everyday those various pieces are cut into a different size slice. Some days exercise, for example, might get a bigger slice, but it’s always a slice. Wholeness is the goal, making sure every piece is represented, even if it’s just a sliver of that pie.
All that to say, my own pie is still a work in process. I couldn’t do it, though, without the flexibility and support of my family, without plenty of friend time and fellowship, without consultation, mentorship, and collaboration with my network of respected colleagues whom I lovingly refer to as my “therafriends.”
As you know, we’re big fans of Elizabeth Cobb, LMFT, LPC. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
I own what I call a boutique, single-shingle private practice. It’s just me. My areas of specialization are:
-bereavement, grief following the death of someone important in our life
-couple’s issues with an eye on strengthening communication, connection, and intimacy most frequently hurt by betrayal
-women’s issues with a focus on self-care (remember that pie?), from becoming a mom to the empty nest to perimenopause/menopause “fun”
-shame-resiliency
-working with other therapists because we are human, too, and need to keep our “stuff” separate from our clients so we can do good work
The common thread running through each of these areas is that they all involve some sort of loss, which impacts our identity, our sense of self. When someone we love dies, we might question who we are. “My child died, am I still a parent?” An affair can flip everything upside down. “I never thought that I would cheat on my partner, but I was so lonely. Who am I?” Major life transitions, like a child leaving for college or entering perimenopause, often leave women questioning their relevancy in the world. As I sit with my clients, I am guided by this quote from Arthur Schopenhauer: “Mostly it is loss which teaches about the worth of things.” I believe that if we are open to learning and stay curious, we can move forward in our lives both healed and stronger.
One of the things that perhaps sets me apart from many of my peers is that I talk more than other therapists. At least that’s what my seasoned clients tell me. For sure, I’m not just a “head nodder.” While I endeavor to listen well and with compassion, I think that one of the benefits of working with a therapist is the possibility of exploring various perspectives besides one’s own. I’m not in their heads and don’t necessarily see the world as they do, so I ask if I can share my own thoughts. I also don’t believe that therapy is the end-all, be-all. I think that lots of things are therapeutic, so I encourage my clients to embrace those other aspects of life which provide direction and growth. I think that therapy needs to be intentional and goal-driven, so I’m regularly checking in with my clients about how therapy is going for them. The goal is to say good-bye. I’m also pretty direct and work well with clients who appreciate candor.
I take the business of life seriously, which requires vulnerability and the courage to be honest with yourself. I laugh with my clients. I cry with my clients. While I don’t have the answers, I do have blankets, coffee and tea, and a deep desire to keep it real while my clients find their own.
What matters most to you?
What matters most to me is living a big, full life in which there is an abundance of love and laughter underscored by contentment, gratitude good food, exercise, books, and lots and lots of play time. I love my family, my friends, and my work. In order to be worth a darn at any of it, my own cup needs to be full.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.elizabethcobbtherapy.com
- Instagram: @cobbtherapy
- Facebook: Elizabeth Cobb, Family Therapist
Image Credits
Jason Meade
