Today we’d like to introduce you to Max BurrusWebb.
Hi Max, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I’ve always been an anatomy nerd and been fascinated by birth. I grew up in a very small town, and when I was 16 read every book about midwifery and birth that the local library had. My life took me down many paths; living in Mexico, serving 5 years active duty in the Army, running a mini homestead, and working at a coffee place while I was in college.
After the Army, around 2017, I landed in Texas. I had a lot of healing to do, both physically and mentally. It was a rather ugly time in my life. It was a lot of work, and I was pretty light on hope. We lived in a tent in a National Forest for a little while. But my son is an amazing motivator, and I made it through. I found local resources, a job with an amazing manager, and started building myself a little community.
My GI Bill allowed me to start college, and I ended up meeting my husband at the college veteran center. Our first real conversation started as an argument… But I realized he knew way more on the topic, and I had to be quiet and learn. I’ve carried that lesson around, and it’s served me quite well! At one point our college mentor marched me down to the disability office, and I learned a lot about the support that was there for me. My 30s became this incredible kicking off point for me to creep out of survival mode.
Finally feeling safe enough, I decided to try coming out, again. My friends at the coffee shop had my back, even when one employee had some big feelings about my transition. My (then-almost) husband handled it incredibly well, and we talked a lot about how my transition would work; not just emotionally, but also logistically. Years later, I found out that his friend group shrunk significantly during that time. He never told me the cruel things people said or did; he simply cut them out of his life and kept loving me.
I bought so many kids books on gender, and steeled myself for a big talk and coming out to my son, who was 8 at the time. [I highly recommend “Who Are You? -The kid’s guide to gender identity” by Brook Pessin-Whedbee!] I was anxious, and tried so hard to be ready for anything. I wasn’t ready for his second question: “Can I go play Minecraft now?” Lil dude literally did not care at all. As he’s gotten older, and the political climate in Texas has changed, we’ve had more talks. Especially about safety, and ways our family is different, and how that could make us targets for people who don’t like “different.”
I graduated and passed my licensing exam. Finally, I felt like I had the stability to learn more about myself, and get back in touch with what I actually wanted out of life. I started my doula apprenticeship almost immediately. I actually met with the woman who would become my mentor before I even graduated. She was so supportive, and said that even though birthwork support is largely women, people still choose male OBGYN’s, so why not a masc presenting doula?
I spent 3 months following her around, day and night; and learning everything I could about birth, supporting families, and the Houston birth work community. Once my apprenticeship was over, I just stuck around her and her group. I started my own business, but I had found “my people,” fellow business owners in the same industry and they had the same/similar values. I refused to let it go! I kept showing up, and eventually I was invited to join TLC Doula Group.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
There have been times where I knew I wasn’t a good fit for a family, because I’m a part of the LGBT community. I’ve learned to be very forward with that information now. It’s on my website, the Progressive Pride Flag is the background on my business cards, my face is on there- now when I get a call, people already know what they’re getting. If they don’t like LGBT people, I don’t get the call. It’s seemed to save me a lot of unfortunate conversations.
I already knew that would be a thing though. It’s a thing in most aspects of my life. With neighbors not allowing their kids to play with mine, unwelcoming work environments, or folks leaving mid-scout meeting when they realize that my husband and I are a gay couple. At this point, I already have a strategy to prevent it from wasting too much of my time.
As a whole, the birth worker community in Houston has been accepting. I’m not the first queer birth worker here, by any means. I’m not even the first Dude-La in the area. So I feel like I’ve definitely had fewer obstacles than those “firsts” had.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
I own my own business, and I work collaboratively with other doulas. This gives me back-up support if I every need it, and a community to discuss the “hard stuff” with. It gives me more people to learn from.
I’m not sure what I’m known for, but I would hope it’s compassion, meeting folks where they’re at, and helping bring them where they want to go. I’m a nerd and LOVE information and education. I’m always taking classes to be better at what I do.
I started out focusing on pregnancy, labor and birth exclusively. But then I got a call from someone who’s kid had came out as trans; they needed information/support and didn’t know where to look. Then I got another call from a trans person who needed help advocating for themselves in medical situations. It was a natural extension of what I was already doing. During my transition I’d already done or learned so much about the medical processes, legal processes, social support, and community support. I started being more intentional about gathering and organizing this information in a way that was easier to share. I keep current on legal and local policy changes (of which there have been MANY this year), but also on all the community support available.
I also started getting requests for additional support after birth! I started doing continuing education and I’ve been working the last few months to expand my services into that area as well. Currently, I’m only supporting postpartum families I’ve already built a relationship with; though I may expand those services as the community needs.
Are there any books, apps, podcasts or blogs that help you do your best?
For living my best life, I have a Libby account, and that’s my favorite resource- I can read so many books/magazines from multiple libraries, regardless of where I physically am. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” (Lindsay C. Gibson), “So You Want to Talk about Race” (Ijeoma Oluo), “Radical Acceptance” (Tara Brach), & “101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think” (Brianna Wiest), were all full of nuggets of wisdom that really did change how I think and approach the world. I recognize patterns of behavior in myself, and clients, in ways that I can call attention to. It’s helped me make my compassion more functional and useful.
On Substack: Erin Reed, Flint Del Sol, and Mercury Stardust; all have tons of info that impacts the LGBT community, as well as some feel goods. I feel I have to stay informed to remain a solid community resource. But that’s definitely heavy work emotionally.
For birth work, Evidence Based Birth podcast is a great jumping off point for quick info. I prefer to check out actual medical journals (Pregnancy- SMFM; JAMA; AJOG) when I’m looking for a specific bit of information. I also keep up with new info/studies coming from ACOG, and international equivalents like NVOG, RCOG, and RANZOCOG.
Pricing:
- I do custom packages for Gender Support, depending on what folks need. Usually, it’s around $50/hr
- My main pregnancy and birth doula package is $2,000. It’s typically split in 2 payments.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://MaximumDoulaServices.com
- Instagram: @MaximumDoulaServices
Image Credits
Photos at birth: Shawna Berridge-Edoo
