Today we’d like to introduce you to Jill Robin Payne.
Hi Jill Robin, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
People and relationships have always fascinated me, motivating me to earn a BS in Recreational Therapy, followed by an MA in Counseling/Clinical Psychology, and ultimately becoming a licensed psychotherapist. My father, an ophthalmologist and my mother a philanthropist modeled, behavior that instilled in me a desire to make a meaningful impact on people and communities.
During the past fifteen years, empathy has been cyclical—decreasing and now on the rise; affecting relationships positively and negatively. Empathy is often misunderstood. Many believe empathy alone is the answer, not realizing that “empathy alone” can create an “in-group,” leaving others in the “out-group.” That is why empathy needs a “B.” Bempathy®—banter + empathy with a win/win mindset creates authentic engagement with people, allowing them to feel special, let their guard down, and personally engage with others, even if they don’t agree or are in other groups. Here’s the fun part: research shows that banter actually synchronizes our brains with others, even those who may not initially like us.
That insight became Bempathy®—a method that blends banter + empathy with a win/win mindset to help people form authentic connections, build trust, de-escalate tension, and foster meaningful relationships. From helping clients achieve their dreams to sharing these principles through my books, mainstream media, podcasts, and social media, I’ve dedicated my career to teaching people how to connect confidently, authentically, and joyfully, making their journey to success both effective and fun.
Whether it’s a one-on-one conversation, a workshop, or a public talk, my mission is simple: help people experience connections that are meaningful, fun, and transformative.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
No road is without twists and turns. This is a part of life. My road was no different—moving to Texas alone right after college to pursue opening and starting a business in Recreational Therapy. The business was a bust; however, I found my future husband. Before we married, I attended an Ophthalmic Technician program at Georgetown University to change careers, moving back to Houston. After 13 years, my marriage ended in divorce, with a son. Knowing the monetary pressures of being a single mom led me to pursue a master’s in clinical/counseling psychology becoming a licensed psychotherapist. Working three jobs, raising a son, and going to class, I still managed to find time to attend all my son’s functions. My thought is, if you are going to have children, they need to be put first because they are the future of our society.
All through these trials and tribulations (and there were many more), they made me a better person, and I would practice looking at the big picture—the third side of the coin—and work to make most situations win/win. This is my Bempathy®—a reciprocal communication concept that is a blend of banter + empathy with a win/win mindset. An approach that creates authentic engagement with people, allowing them to feel special, let their guard down, and personally engage with others. Empathy needs a “B.” Bempathy®—This helps wipe out all-or-nothing thinking and disconnected groups.
Let’s all Bempathize. Beacon, Brighten, and Bow are some of my characters that can help lead us all in that direction of connection.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
My gift is helping people get their dreams—the ability to see what people want and help them obtain it. Over 40 years of working in the mental health field with all types of people, from CEOs to people on the street, has led me to create a reciprocal communication technique called Bempathy® that works well in a world inundated with screens. Empathy needs a “B.” Bempathy® blends banter + empathy with a win/win mindset, creating safe environments for people to find clarity, connectedness, and compassion with themselves and others.
What sets me apart from others is that I created Bempathy® – a word and a concept. Empathy alone is not enough anymore; it can create in-groups, out-groups, and all-or-nothing thinking. Banter, which is scientifically proven to synchronize the brains of others – even if they don’t like you – adds the missing piece. Bempathy® does it all. You learn how to empathize in a cognitive way, allowing you to step back emotionally or physically (or both) to see the bigger picture and the third side of the coin—another perspective, of which there are many.
This is important because people need commonality instead of focusing on the negative, which leads to more separation and pain. Commonality creates positive feelings, positive chemicals, and positive engagement, which is what Bempathy® is all about. The Bempathy® characters – Beacon, Brighten, and Bow – are delightful guides who help people through practical, relatable skills that teach the social tools needed for a more harmonious life with fluid conversations.
What sets me apart is that Bempathy® is a new concept – mixing banter with empathy when negotiating, communicating, or relating in a world that has become too much. It simplifies conversations into a three-step process.
What sort of changes are you expecting over the next 5-10 years?
Empathy is everywhere in the news – but empathy alone is incomplete. It needs a “B.” Bempathy® = banter + empathy with a win/win mindset which is a concept I created. It’s more than communication; it’s the whole package for real connection in a world that can feel divided which is brought to life through three fun personalities: Beacon, Brighten, and Bow.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jillrobinpayne.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillRobinPayne
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jill-robin-payne/
- Twitter: https://x.com/JillRobinPayne
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JillRobinPayne
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/jill-robin-payne-houston
- Other: https://linktr.ee/jillrobinpayne
