Today we’d like to introduce you to Jill Payne.
Hi Jill, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I’ve always been fascinated by the nuances of human interactions – the mechanics of communication, the unique languages, and behaviors that set each individual apart. Driven by this fascination, I dove headfirst into the realm of psychology and recreational therapy, earning a bachelor’s and a master’s degree and later, two specialized licenses in the field.
My motto is “everything is relational”, and it’s the guiding principle behind my work as a psychotherapist, my interactions, and indeed, my life. The beauty of human connection and the importance of fostering it is a message I’ve ardently propagated through various media outlets, locally and nationally.
I’ve faced my fair share of challenges, too. My brother’s battle with schizophrenia, my parent’s divorce, and later my own have been instrumental in shaping my understanding of relationships. These experiences, while tough, transformed me into a single mother who strove to balance life, work and ensuring my son’s bond with his extended family. I channeled these experiences, using empathy and understanding to help others navigate similar emotional landscapes.
For over 25 years, my private practice has been a sanctuary for those seeking to build stronger bonds. The distinctiveness of each person’s needs only reinforced the fact that there can be no ‘one-size-fits-all’ self-help book. Instead, it inspired me to lean into the belief that each person has a unique gift and countless potential connections waiting out there.
In the process, I developed a concept called Bempathy®, an empathetic way of brainstorming solutions which incorporates six key elements – the 6 C’s. This new innovative, communicative style has helped my clients form deeper, more fulfilling connections and empowered them to chase their dreams.
I’ve often been told, “Jill, people need to hear this! They need to understand how to find commonalities, connect, and commit to enduring relationships.” Spurred on by this sentiment, I conducted an informal pilot study with a small group using my techniques, leading to healthier, more balanced relationships among participants. This success spurred me to encapsulate my learnings in a book, a labor of love that took years of late-night writing sessions.
One of the most rewarding experiences has been using the techniques from my first book to find my own special someone. After 24 years of being single, I embarked on a beautiful journey of marriage. It’s been a remarkable, though challenging, adventure, affirming once again that everything, indeed, is relational.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Certainly, life hasn’t always been a smooth ride, but it’s these exact trials and tribulations that have molded me into the resilient person I am today. My journey began as a fresh college graduate, moving solo to Houston, brimming with the aspiration to start my own business. These early years involved exploring various roles, seeking to discover where I fit best. A transition back to Virginia led me to Georgetown University, where I became an ophthalmic technician.
In the midst of this professional exploration, my personal life was also evolving. I tied the knot with a charming Texan, moved to Texas for a while, and then journeyed back to Virginia. There, I played a supportive role in my then-husband’s educational journey through law school and a master’s program. Life then blessed me with the joy of motherhood, welcoming my son Taylor into the world, an experience I count as my most rewarding success.
However, life had more twists in store. Following a move back to Texas, my marriage ended in divorce, and I found myself navigating the challenging waters of single motherhood. Juggling three jobs, pursuing a master’s degree, and actively participating in my son’s activities often left me wondering how I managed to keep all the balls in the air. But the answer was simple: you just do. Looking back, I realize that every struggle was instrumental in shaping my journey. The key was focusing on the positives and leaning on a wonderful support system that stood by me through thick and thin. Today, I can confidently say that these experiences have been vital in shaping the person I am, providing me with the strength and resilience to face any challenge that comes my way.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
My specialty is relationships. I just have this knack, a gift if you will, for seeing people for who they truly are – understanding their needs, their wants, and helping them get there. I always say, “Everything is relational.” Even something as simple as sitting on a chair can be relational. If it’s not comfortable, you’ll shift around, or you’ll be motivated to find a better one.
Now, one thing that I’m particularly proud of is creating Bempathy®. It’s this innovative communication concept that I’ve personified through three delightful cartoon characters – Beacon, Brighten, and Bow. These guys take readers on a fictional journey in my Bempathy® books, making it super relatable and helping people refine their social and communication skills.
Each of my characters stands for a different personality type. You have Beacon, our shining guide, leading the way for Brighten, who’s full of starry-eyed wonder. And then there’s Bow, this adorable dog with a cute pink bow, representing the compromiser in all of us, tying everything together and making sense of things.
What makes Bempathy® work are the 6 C’s – these are six straightforward elements designed to improve your relationships and navigate social situations. They’re easy to understand and practical to implement. So, through Bempathy®, I’m aiming to make mastering relationships a more engaging and fun journey.
Can you tell us more about what you were like growing up?
My life has always been a vibrant dance of energy, brimming with friendliness, helpfulness, and an ever-present smile. In fact, long before emojis came into vogue, my letters were often signed off with a “Smiles”. Being physically active and social has always been my jam – whether it’s ballet dancing, gymnastics, swimming, or contributing to the high school paper.
I recall that I truly thrived in high school – being part of the drill team, the Keyettes, participating in various contests, and my calendar was chock-full with exciting activities – from summer jobs during high school to serving as a debutante. My volunteering streak kicked off in junior high when I helped my mother at the cerebral palsy center, a cause she was leading on a national level. This early experience planted a seed, growing into a lifelong passion for volunteering, whether it was visiting Charley in the nursing home during high school or assisting patients at Alexandria Hospital in college.
My college years were a whirlwind of memorable experiences! Dancing remained a consistent thread, and I was part of the college dance team. My sorority sisters even nominated me for the Miss Longwood contest, where I was honored with the ‘Most Talented’ award. That same year, I had the pleasure of being crowned the Virginia Cherry Blossom Princess and later, the Queen! I can honestly say my life has been a delightful blend of passion, service, and a hearty dose of fun, shaping me into the person I am today.
Contact Info:
- Website: jillrobinpayne.com
- Instagram: jillrobinpayne
- Facebook: jillrobinpayne
- Linkedin: jillrobinpayne
- Twitter: jillrobinpayne
- Youtube: jillrobinpayne
- Yelp: jillrobinpayne
- Other: bempathize.com
Image Credits
Jill Robin Payne
Vicky Pink
Bo Porter Enterprise
512 New Media
