Today we’d like to introduce you to Althea Warner.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
# My Journey: Running From God While God Was Running After Me
### The Story of Althea Jones Layton Warner
My name is Althea Jones Layton Warner. I was born in Lafayette, Louisiana, and raised in Beaumont, Texas. I am the oldest of four siblings. Our family consisted of two girls and two boys, in that order: girl, boy, boy, girl.
I was raised in the church. I grew up in a Holiness environment, which meant there were many things we were not allowed to do outside the church. We spent a great deal of time in church. Although there were restrictions on what we could and could not do, I developed a genuine love for God and His people.
Unfortunately, I discovered that not everyone in the church would love me the way I loved them.
Looking back now, I understand something I did not understand then: sometimes being mistreated, rejected, and disappointed by people is part of the growing process. At the time, however, I was not looking at it that way. I was asking myself, “Why are they doing this to me? I am trying to do what is right before God and before them, so why am I being treated this way?”
I did not understand that even Jesus experienced rejection and persecution from religious people. He was misunderstood, criticized, and opposed by those who should have recognized Him.
But I was not thinking about Jesus’ experiences at the time. I was thinking about my own pain.
Eventually, I became tired of being hurt, and I left. I ran from my family, my friends, and, most importantly, God.
I ran as far and as hard as I could. In fact, I ran right into the military!
But I soon discovered that you cannot outrun God.
## God Was Waiting for Me
I entered the military and attended boot camp in Orlando, Florida. After boot camp, I chose to be stationed in San Diego, California.
One day, as I was walking across the military base, I noticed a church van driving around, picking up people who wanted to attend church. The van stopped, and someone asked me if I wanted to go to church.
Of course, I said yes!
But attending church did not mean I had completely surrendered my life to God. I was still straddling the fence. I wanted to enjoy what we called being “out in the world.” I wanted to experience the things I thought I had missed, but I also wanted to enjoy the presence of God.
I wanted both worlds.
Eventually, I had to make a decision. I could not continue living with one foot in the church and the other foot in the world. I had to decide whether I was going to live for God completely and wholeheartedly.
Today, I thank God for my parents. I had praying parents who continued to keep a hedge of protection around me. Even when I was determined to go my own way, their prayers were working on my behalf.
I could not get too far away, although I certainly tried!
While I was in the military, there was a competitive atmosphere. Whatever the men were doing, we women wanted to show them that we could do it too—and sometimes do it bigger and better.
I was trying to prove myself in a world that offered plenty of opportunities to make choices I would later have to live with.
But through it all, God loved me enough to keep drawing me close, even when I was running away from Him.
## Motherhood: A Love That Changed My Life
I became a mother for the first time when I gave birth to my daughter, Jessica Octavia Shawnequa Jones Franks, outside of marriage.
I wanted her father and me to settle down and build a family together. I thought he would be there for me. Initially, he did not seem interested in being involved, but as my pregnancy progressed, he began asking about the baby.
I remember telling him, “You haven’t been with me throughout this entire pregnancy, and now you’re asking about her? I don’t need you.”
Little did I know how powerful my words would become in that situation.
When it was time for me to deliver our daughter, he was gone. I had told him not to accept orders that would send him to Virginia, but he left anyway. I contacted the military base and discovered that he had accepted the orders.
Naturally, I was left to have my baby alone.
But the truth is, I was never alone.
God was right there, watching over me and my baby.
You would think that experience would have been my ultimate come-to-Jesus moment, but it wasn’t. I was still determined to do what I wanted to do.
I struggled with depression and found myself going from relationship to relationship, searching for someone who would love me for who I was. I wanted to be loved, accepted, and valued. I was looking for something in people that only God could ultimately satisfy.
I will never forget the birth of my daughter. Her delivery was uncomplicated, even though she was premature.
As I was giving birth to her, the Holy Ghost fell upon me. I remember being so excited to hold my baby girl. She was precious then, and she is still precious to me today.
I thank God that she was born healthy. I had been drinking during my pregnancy. I was not a heavy drinker, thank God, but I understand now that even drinking could have resulted in complications or birth defects.
Thankfully, she was healthy, although she was small and developed jaundice.
Because of the jaundice, I had to leave her in the hospital for an additional day. I did not want to leave my baby there. It was difficult to walk away, even knowing she was receiving the care she needed.
That experience was another reminder of God’s goodness and protection over my life and the life of my daughter.
## Love, Marriage, and Warnings I Didn’t Recognize
On July 31, 1992, I married the late Kip Allan Layton Sr.
The way we met was interesting.
The first time we encountered each other, we were out on the dance floor at a club we frequented. I accidentally ran into his foot. That was our first encounter.
The second time I saw him was during a GQ contest at the club. He was the only white man participating, and he won the contest. However, there was some controversy because the club would not allow him to officially win since he worked there.
I remember telling my friend that I was going to tell him how good he looked.
And let me tell you, he didn’t just look good—he was fine!
He was wearing a navy-blue suit, had long hair and smelled absolutely amazing. He certainly caught my attention!
What I did not know was what I was getting myself into.
Even his own mother warned me not to get involved with him. She told me, “Thea, don’t let him take the light out of your eyes.”
One day, she looked at me and told me that the light had gone out of my eyes.
Those words have stayed with me.
Looking back, I realize that if I had valued and honored the wisdom being offered to me, I might have paid closer attention to the warning.
Once again, I thank God for my praying parents and the other people who were praying for me. Their prayers continued to cover me, even during seasons when I was not making the best decisions for myself.
We had our baby boy, Kip Allan Layton, Jr. i was excited that we were having our baby. he was birthed right after we got married.
The twenty-four years we were married were challenging years. Kip struggled with heavy drinking, and his drinking eventually took a tremendous toll on his health. He drank so heavily that he was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver.
## When Love, Life, and Loss Collided
As Kip’s health continued to decline, we found ourselves going in and out of the hospital. I had never witnessed anything like what I was experiencing. Watching the doctors perform the procedures and do everything they could to keep him alive was something I never want to experience again.
There were decisions I had to make that I never imagined I would have to face. I was responsible for making choices that could affect whether my husband would continue living. The weight of those decisions was overwhelming.
I remember feeling like a little girl. I didn’t want to be the one making those decisions. I wanted somebody to step in, take my hand, and tell me what to do. I wanted someone to make the decisions for me because I did not feel equipped to carry such a heavy responsibility.
But life doesn’t always give us the opportunity to prepare for the difficult moments. Sometimes we find ourselves standing in places we never imagined, having to make decisions we never wanted to make.
Before the doctors had to induce a coma, and before we made that final trip to the hospital, Kip and I held each other and cried. We cried in each other’s arms.
That moment is forever etched in my memory.
Kip did not want to tell his family what was happening with his health. I eventually spoke with his late father, Kenneth A. Layton, and expressed how sorry I was about everything that was happening.
He told me, “Make the best decisions that you can.”
I responded, “Yes, sir.”
Those words were simple, but they carried a tremendous responsibility. I knew I had to do the best I could under circumstances that were beyond anything I had ever experienced.
When Kip was admitted to the hospital for the last time, the doctors induced a coma. Sadly, he never came out of that hospital.
I thank God that even in his final days, Kip touched more people while lying in that hospital bed than he had when he was walking around in good health. His circumstances brought people together, opened doors for conversations, and allowed others to see him in a different way.
Sometimes we don’t realize the impact a person’s life has had until circumstances bring people together around them.
Something else happened during this difficult season: my mother and I grew closer. The situation also brought reconciliation between me and Kip’s family. The disagreements and tension that had existed between us were no longer standing in the way. We were able to come together during a time when we needed one another.
Even in the middle of heartbreak, God was bringing healing to relationships.
Then came December 3, 2014.
That was the day Kip passed away.
He died just two days before my birthday.
If someone had told me that my husband would pass away, I probably would have thought they were crazy. I never imagined that I would be standing in a world without him. I thought Kip and I would grow old together. I thought we would have more years, more memories, and more opportunities to experience life together.
But that was not how our story unfolded.
I suddenly had to begin my life again without my husband.
And let me be honest: it has not been an easy journey.
There is a difference between knowing that someone is gone and learning how to live each day without that person. Life continues, the calendar keeps moving, birthdays come around, and the world doesn’t stop because your heart is hurting.
I had to learn how to navigate life without the person I thought would be beside me as we grew older.
I had to face a new reality, one I had never prepared myself for.
I was no longer a wife in the way I had always understood my identity. I was now a widow, learning how to find my footing again.
I did not have all the answers. I did not know what the next chapter would look like. But one thing I would eventually come to understand was that although I had lost my husband, I had not lost God.
The same God who had kept me through my childhood, my rebellious years, my military experience, motherhood, and marriage was still present in my life.
I was going to have to learn how to live again, one moment at a time.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
it has not been a smooth road and still not smooth. In every season I have had to learn who I was and whose I was. I am learning to overcome depression and anxiety. I am learning to continue to live through grief.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
In my new journey, I have become a grief coach. as someone has walked with me, I walk with others in their journey of grief. I and my father Dave Henry Jones have received our honorary doctorate in Christian Counseling through The Vertical Scholl of Ministry. the Chancellor/Founder of the school is Dr. LuRussia Cain. We were elated that we were able to accomplish this. Last but not least, I was able to go into the Pastorate. I opened and founded the ministry Cities of Refuge Ministry. I am the first of my parent’s children to walk after the footsteps of my father Dr. Dave H. Jones
What matters most to you?
What matters most to me and why is doing the will of God and my family.
I knew growing up that I was going to do something great I just didn’t know what that was going to be. In every turn, obstacle and victory I have been able to impact people’s lives for the better. i always want to help and guide others so that they can live better lives. i always want to make Father God proud of who I am and being the representation that He needs in the earth realm. My family is very important. because when one is winning we all win together. When one is hurting we all hurt together. It is a wonderful thing of sharing love between each other.
Pricing:
- Birthing Wisdom Family Journal on Amazon: $20.00
Contact Info:
- Instagram: lady.althea88
- Facebook: Althea Warner
- Youtube: @MsAlthea88
