We recently had the chance to connect with Danielle Coulanges and have shared our conversation below.
Danielle, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
This is the time of year where I enjoy gardening. In early spring I plant seedlings and starter plants in my backyard garden, and beginning in May I experience daily what I call my “discovery expeditions.”
What will it be today, a bud shooting up in my gladiolas? The flowers blooming on my peppers? A pinky size cucumber popping out of a stem? By mid-June my discovery expeditions turn into daily harvests: crunchy green peppers, juicy tomatoes, huge, succulent cucumbers, and glorious flowers for the vase on my counter.
Watching nature in action is like witnessing a quiet miracle unfolding before my very eyes!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m a recently retired high school teacher who has transitioned into a new chapter as a writer, author, and now vlogger. Like many in retirement, I saw the opportunity to reinvent myself—this time around a lifelong passion: writing.
My latest book, “Marry Your Best Friend – How to Successfully Date, Connect with Your Life Mate, and Keep It Going Forever,” is a practical guide to dating, relationships, and marriage, built on years of observation, experience, and heart and a public survey of singles and couples.
That love for writing naturally evolved into hosting my own YouTube series, “D’Auntie Speaks,” where I share “Auntie” wisdom, offer guidance, and open conversations around faith, love, relationships, and personal growth. It’s a space for real talk, reflection, and connection—something I’ve always believed in, both inside and outside the classroom. My channel is: https://www.youtube.com/@ByFaithMusic
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
Healthy, long-lasting relationships require that both people 1) understand the dynamics of what makes a relationship work—and, 2) just as importantly, that they commit to respecting the parameters and boundaries, explicitly agreed upon or naturally embedded in their unique connection.
In nearly all meaningful relationships—familial, romantic, or platonic—certain core elements are consistently present: kinship (family), caring, trust, acceptance, and emotional support. The absence or breakdown of even one of these can strain or even sever the bond between individuals. Let me give you some examples:
• A partner who fails to show genuine care for their significant other.
• A friend who breaks the trust of a private conversation.
• A parent who cannot accept their child’s career or lifestyle choices.
• A spouse or close friend who withholds emotional support during a time of crisis.
When emotional bonds are damaged, restoration is only possible when forgiveness is both sought and offered—and when healing actions follow sincere apologies. Allow me to share a personal story with you.
For years, my relationship with one of my older sisters felt tense. Our interactions carried an unspoken discomfort and subtle resentment. Last year, during a sleepover visit (I now live in Houston, Texas, and she’s in New York City), the opportunity finally arose to address it. During a conversation, I asked her why I had always sensed a lingering distance between us.
That’s when she opened up about something that had happened decades earlier. I had invited her to a social event hosted by an organization where I served on the board. During an introduction, I made a comment that, in her eyes, diminished her in front of my colleagues.
I could barely recall the incident, but I was heartbroken to learn how deeply it had wounded her—and how long it had affected our relationship. I explained that my comment was meant to clarify something, not embarrass her, but I could see how, in the moment, it might have come across as dismissive or hurtful. I apologized—deeply and sincerely.
What followed was an hours-long conversation, filled with honesty, and laughter. We talked until nearly 3 a.m., finally understanding each other in a way we hadn’t in years. Before we went to bed, we hugged and said, “I love you.” And this time, it felt different—real, unburdened.
Not every broken bond can be mended. Some wounds run too deep, and some people are simply not ready. But when both parties are open, honest, and willing to forgive, healing is possible. A heartfelt “I’m sorry,” followed by meaningful change, can go a long way in rebuilding what was lost.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
The most defining wound of my life came when I walked away from a relationship that had lasted over a decade—leaving not because I stopped loving him, but because I needed to save myself.
I was 21 when I met him—a confident, business-savvy 33-year-old fashion photographer and designer living in New York City. He was surrounded by women, but I was too inexperienced with men to recognize the red flags. What we had was intense and passionate and our shared creativity fueled the success of a fashion business that grew to include several boutiques across Manhattan.
But behind the façade of success, our relationship was slowly unraveling. There were subtle betrayals and blatant affairs, each one followed by apologies, forgiveness, and fleeting moments of bliss—only for the cycle to begin again. Over time, the emotional toll wore me down. When I became depressed and even suicidal, I knew I had to leave.
Ending the relationship meant more than just walking away from a partner. It meant unraveling a life we had built together—splitting the business, dividing properties, and confronting the weight of a shattered heart. I felt completely lost.
Thankfully, close friends became my anchors. They offered emotional support, wise counsel, and—perhaps most healing of all—laughter. Still, learning how to date again and open myself to love at 36 felt daunting. As a writer by nature, I turned to journaling as a form of therapy. And I prayed—desperately at first. That desperation eventually led me back to the biblical truths I had grown up with, and ultimately, back to myself.
That journey—of heartbreak, rediscovery, and healing—became the foundation of my first book: the memoir, “Cads, Princes and Best Friends.”
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
What matters most to me is showing love to others and making sure they feel seen, valued, and appreciated. This begins with my family and friends and extends to my students, colleagues, and everyone I encounter. Love has the power to transform—it covers a multitude of wrongs, brings healing, offers protection, forgives, supports, inspires, and motivates.
My goal each day is to lift someone’s spirit and reflect God’s love—whether through a kind word, a smile, a nod, a hug, a listening ear, a thoughtful gesture, a word of encouragement, a helping hand, or simply by being present. I want the people I meet to walk away feeling better about themselves and more hopeful about life.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
Each person will have their own story—some moment of bonding, laughter, or joy we shared; how they witnessed me overcome love lost, bankruptcy and other challenges. But more than anything, I hope they all remember this: knowing Danielle was a blessing. She loved deeply, served generously, gave and shared wholeheartedly, laughed freely and lived with joy. She was a good friend and honored God. Most importantly, she was intentional about it all.
If they say that, then it meant that I had lived my purpose.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.daniellecoulanges.com
- Instagram: @dauntie1
- Twitter: @DivaAging
- Facebook: daniellecoulangesmusic
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ByFaithMusic
