Today we’d like to introduce you to Destiny Fordham
Hi Destiny , thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
DEI has always been a part of my story. I was a black woman, born into low-income within a large family, and faced many challenges that were often the result of these identities. Later, as a first-generation college student at a predominately white institution, I realized the importance of community and visibility for people who looked like me and shared my story. Going off to college and being a first-generation student and later a resident assistant at a predominately white institution, I faced many financial and social barriers that furthered my interest in change. Two moments in my life that I’ll never forget – are the day Trayvon Martin died and the day George Zimmerman was acquitted. Both brought shame, anger, fear, and a deep sense of injustice to the forefront of me. Those days changed my life because, as a Criminal Justice major, they made me realize that we were living in the same world I was studying, and studying the world would not suffice.
The murder of Trayvon Martin, among many things, is what really prompted me to consider social justice work – and later DEI as a trainer and coach. Two things were true about my experience – that it was both familiar and unique.
While, as people, we have many shared experiences, there are also unique experiences that create your personality, lifestyle, and vision. This vision and purpose mark your existence and produce authenticity, which can inevitably promote a sense of safety and belonging among others. But how do you get there? You get there by accepting 1) that there is no one else like you and there will never be anyone else like you, which means 2) your life and the lives of others matter. There is beauty and necessity in each of us. If George Zimmerman had found beauty in Trayvon’s life and considered his family or his siblings – like I pray that someone would consider my own, he would be alive. If he had recognized his own biases and triggers, he may have worked to increase his awareness instead of choosing to take someone’s life.
My company, SOULABOR, aims to foster brave spaces for Diversity and Inclusion dialogue. I want to get people comfortable talking about themselves and others, with themselves and others and the stories that shape our lives, from their journey of acceptance to the realities of their privilege. Change starts from within, and once you gain confidence and comfort with yourself, you can ultimately foster healing and understanding among others. That is my life’s purpose and my goal when coaching and facilitating sessions.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I’ve experienced many challenges getting to where I am today, but I’ve learned to see challenges as opportunities. Professionally, I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome and stereotypes about black women in leadership. People constantly assume my tone, education level, and expertise. I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome. While building a business, I had to learn a lot about forming an LLC and keeping accurate records that I didn’t know before. As a trainer and content creator, I often receive tough feedback from clients and participants. I’ve learned not to see feedback as a personal characterization of who I am but as a glimpse of the other person’s values being misunderstood/ unseen in my work.
I’ve learned that the fear of getting it wrong is often more significant than the challenge at hand. Building a brand and business for myself has offered me the space to make mistakes while betting on myself, boosting my assurance and self-awareness. It’s a give-and-take.
I am proud of my journey despite the obstacles I’ve faced, which is why I am so passionate about liberation for others. I’ve also been fortunate to have coaches and mentors who remind me that I don’t have to have all the answers, just the willpower to listen and learn.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
The “what” of my business is to cultivate brave spaces for Diversity and Inclusion dialogue. The “how” is done in partnership with the client. The best part about consulting is that you have the opportunity to create curated spaces for various groups. Even before founding my LLC, I developed and coached leaders in many industries, from the food industry to high school students. In these spaces, I always begin with a way for the group to connect with themselves. After we’ve been acquainted and established the power of community, we discuss the challenges at hand and end with how we come together. I aim to leverage authenticity and storytelling to ignite communities through difficult and restorative conversations. The more we lift the diverse voices and perspectives of others, the more we can work to cultivate a shared understanding. The problem is that we see opportunity as something to be obtained rather than a moment to be shared. SOULABOR is about creating a shared sense of community, whether it’s a training space, focus group, or panel discussion. There’s room for all of us.
Who else deserves credit in your story?
First, I have to thank my current manager, Ashley for giving me the space and support to grow a brand outside of work. Tory and Bretagne, my former Residential Directors, who hired me as an RA. In this role, my gift of facilitation and leadership matured. Tory and Bretagne, thank you for believing in me and protecting my voice and humanity as a black staff member. I also have to thank my first DEI mentor, David, who really helped me hone my focus and was a true model for the work. Lastly, I have to thank my family who really weathered the storm as I found my footing on what it meant to be an advocate and sister. My mother, Tonya and my siblings – Preston, Antonette, Tatyana, Brianna, Anthony, Marcellus, Jeremiah, Zechariah, and Naya. This win is just as much theirs as it is mine. I am grateful for their unwavering love and support. They create a safe space for me to just exist.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/destinyfordham_/
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/vl7thVXw0kM?si=l7EQWTLOUzTHWv_p
Image Credits
Action shot photos should be credited to: @rtgvisuals
Main photo should be credited to: @visualcontrol_
