Today we’d like to introduce you to Synthia Smith Franklin.
Hi Synthia, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My journey to where I am today started in 2012, when I got my first big girl job as a teacher. I taught pre-k, 1st grade, and 2nd grade over the course of nine years, and then moved into a leadership position as a literacy specialist for two years, where I coached kindergarten through second grade teachers. I also started a master’s degree in Special Education with an education diagnostician certification. My plan was to eventually leave the classroom and start my career as a diagnostician. However, after I completed my master’s degree, my path shifted and so did my mindset.
While still working in education, I joined a network marketing company called It Works to supplement my income, and I was unexpectedly good at it. I later joined another similar company called Modere, where I surprised myself again by quickly climbing the ranking ladder. Through network marketing, I discovered that (despite struggling with anxiety) I was really good at building relationships with people. I also developed a wide range of new professional, personal, and interpersonal skills that helped me grow as a person, with a huge focus on building community. It started off as just a side hustle to make extra money, but it became about so much more than that. It was a transformative experience that shifted my perspective on life. I always had big dreams, but network marketing made me believe that they were possible.
This newly found self-confidence and optimism got interrupted after I got into a serious relationship with who I thought was my soulmate. It started off spectacular, but as the relationship progressed, things gradually shifted. What began as a fairy tale turned into a living nightmare, full of deception, gaslighting, and a slow erosion of my sense of self. I hit absolute rock bottom. Although I knew something was wrong, the extreme level of (what I later found out to be) narcissistic abuse distorted my reality so severely that I couldn’t tell what was real or not anymore. Every time I thought I had it figured out, he would temporarily return to the person from the beginning again, which kept me holding onto hope. I stayed for years trying to prove my worth, and lost myself in the process. I became isolated from friends and family, and felt stuck in a dynamic that was too painful to stay in but also felt too painful to leave.
In 2020 when the pandemic hit, after a destructive cycle of extreme highs and lows, something finally clicked and I ended the relationship. Once it was all said and done, those years felt like such a disorienting blur and I was left thinking, “What in the world even just happened to me?” This led to my deep dive into researching narcissism, psychologically abusive relationships, and trauma bonding. As I put all the pieces together and had one aha moment after the next, everything in my body told me that this happened to me for a reason and that I needed to share my story.
In 2021, without much thought or planning, I created a skit on TikTok under the username @Synful to portray a scenario I experienced in that relationship, and it went viral. Thousands of comments poured in from people saying they had experienced the exact same thing. I continued making skits depicting conversations and events from that relationship and story time videos to talk about my experience very openly and bluntly. Each video brought more people and more comments. It was validating for me to know that I wasn’t crazy or alone, and likewise, others found validation in knowing they weren’t crazy or alone either. It quickly grew into a large online community of narcissistic abuse survivors from all around the world, many of whom were isolated from their support systems, validating and supporting each other. I felt a true sense of belonging, and it reminded me of the sense of belonging I felt in network marketing. I felt connected to it, drawn to it, and passionate about it in the same way, except now – it was about something much more personal and meaningful to me. I knew I’d found my purpose. I began using the hashtag #ResilientAF to represent my community and to empower survivors.
I started getting hundreds of messages from people on social media – sharing their stories, asking questions, and seeking validation that they weren’t crazy. As time passed, I was struggling with juggling (bars!) my full-time job, creating content, and using any other free time to reply to messages. I decided I needed to set a boundary to prioritize my own mental health, which led to the start of my coaching business, where I began offering one-on-one virtual sessions via Zoom for those seeking individualized support as well as facilitating monthly virtual support groups.
And then it hit me that everything from my past led me to this point. Having amazing parents who modeled kindness and empathy helped shape me into someone who cares deeply about others. Being an elementary school teacher taught me patience and gave me years of experience with breaking down complex topics into digestible terms using creative visuals. Studying special education and completing my educational diagnostician practicum strengthened my skills in accommodating diverse learners. Coaching teachers as a literacy specialist gave me experience in leadership. Venturing into network marketing helped me practice self-discipline and taught me how to run a business, but more importantly, encouraged me to get out of my own way. The abusive relationship I experienced, while extremely traumatic, tied it all together for me. It reminded me of my resilience and drew me to my passion and purpose in life: to make a difference in the world by raising awareness about this insidious type of abuse, and helping as many people as I can get far away from these relationships to heal and recover.
In 2023, I made the decision to resign from education to pour myself into Resilient AF full-time, and I haven’t looked back since. My (now) husband, Derric, has supported me so much from behind the scenes, from editing my videos and online course, to creating merch to help people feel a part of the community. I’m continuing to grow and brainstorm new ways to support survivors, and looking forward to launching the Resilient AF Podcast soon!
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I’m grateful for every part of my journey and wouldn’t change a thing, but there have definitely been some struggles along the way. I was running myself ragged in the process of building my platforms while still teaching full-time. Many nights, I was so exhausted that I could barely form a thought, but had to push through to stay consistent, especially knowing that people were counting on me. I would get home from work during the week around 5pm, hop on Zoom sessions from around 6-9pm, and then stay up to create new content. I wasn’t getting enough sleep or time to decompress, and it was draining at times.
The topic of narcissistic abuse is also really controversial, so that leads to a lot of negativity and hate in my comments sections and messages sometimes. People online can be pretty brutal. I wasted a lot of energy on it when I first started, but I’ve learned over time how to not take it personally. It just comes with the territory, and I don’t let it distract me from my mission.
I also have ADHD, and while it contributes to my creativity, it also really affects my organization, motivation, time management, and my ability to start and complete tasks. Things can get really overwhelming on days when I have tons to do, but my brain says, “Nah.”
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I’m a content creator and a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I specialize in helping people leave and heal from abusive relationships- through content on social media as well as one-on-one coaching via Zoom sessions. I work with people in all stages, but my biggest strength is guiding survivors in identifying and shattering the distortions they have on replay (due to extreme gaslighting) so they can gain clarity, leave the relationship, break the trauma bond, and stay gone for good. Since I’ve been through it myself, I know exactly what goes on in your mind in these relationships, how confusing it is, and how to find the path back to reality. I also created the Resilient AF: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Online Course, in collaboration with my best friend and colleague (Katy Rodgers Anchondo, LPC and founder of The Counseling Classroom).
I create many different forms of content in this niche, but I’m most known for my hyperbolic skits about narcissistic abuse, where I wear a hat that says “Savage AF” to represent the narcissistic character. While the content can sometimes be triggering to watch, I highlight the absurdity of narcissistic behavior in a humorous way so that it stops looking so powerful and starts looking silly. This approach is effective in helping many survivors take off the rose-colored glasses. I’m most proud of the community I’ve built and my ability to deliver information in a way that resonates – in a way that helps survivors feel seen and know they’re not alone. I think what sets me apart from others is the combination of my empathy, dark humor, quirkiness, and unfiltered, no-nonsense attitude. Clients know that when they come to me, I’m going to be understanding and compassionate, but also keep it real and not sugarcoat things.
What matters most to you? Why?
Authentic human connection matters most to me. I prioritize being myself, doing the right thing, finding happiness in the tiniest moments, and surrounding myself with people who are trying to do the same. My favorite part of life is spending time with my family and my friends (plus my two dogs!) There’s just something about having real conversations with real people and being in a room full of genuine love that’s so fulfilling. While the work I do is centered around making a difference and helping others, I’m also extremely grateful that I can make my own schedule so that I can create a meaningful life for myself, where I’m present with the people who are most important to me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://imresilientaf.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_synful_
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WeAreResilientAF/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ResilientAF
- Other: Zoom sessions: calendly.com/synful, Online Course: resilientaf.thinkific.com
Image Credits
Stephanie Tunchez with Bloom HTX Media
