Today we’d like to introduce you to Christina McGhee.
Hi Christina, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
Although I grew up with divorced parents, to be honest, I never really gave much thought to how the end of their marriage changed my life. While the divorce was tough and we really didn’t talk about it. It wasn’t until much later in life that the impact of divorce really hit home for me.
When I got married, along with being a blushing bride, I also become a bonus mom (aka stepmom) to two very young kids. Unfortunately, in the “early years,” the relationship between our home and their mom’s house wasn’t all sunshine and butterflies. There were plenty of days when the conflict cast a pretty dark shadow over our family. Life felt heavy, messy, and ridiculously complicated. I knew if it felt that way to me, it had to feel ten times worse for our kids.
That’s where my quest started, and I began searching for anything that could help us do this co-parenting thing better. Sadly most of the resources I found for situations like ours seemed ways too vague, impractical, and didn’t mesh with real life. Whether it was divine intervention or just a stroke of dumb luck, before I knew it, I was teaching court-mandated courses to separated and divorcing parents in Harris County for an organization called Children Cope. In those classes, I met tons of parents, like me, who felt the odds were stacked against them. They knew they needed to put their kids first but just didn’t know what to do or how to do it. It didn’t take long for me to realize that even the very best co-parenting class only scratched the surface. There needed to be more. While I had a Master’s in Social Work and background in trauma resolution, what started out as a part-time stint soon blossomed into a full-time passion and my career took a turn in an unexpected direction.
In 2001, I launched my first website www.divorceandchildren.com with the goal of making practical support and good information available to coparents. Shortly after that, I began offering coaching and started working one on one with parents by phone. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of teaching, coaching, and talking to thousands of parents and professionals all across the globe. Along the way, I was also blessed with some mind-blowing opportunities (most of which I never saw coming.)
My work was featured in the C4 British documentary series How to Divorce Without Screwing Up Your Kids. I have created and produced a children’s DVD video program about divorce, written a book for parents called PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids and launched an online course, CoParenting with Purpose to make accessing support easier for parents. I’ve been honored with the privilege of addressing the Scottish Parliament to advocate for children of divorce, helped launch a national initiative in England for separating parents and continue to be an active member of the creative team for the children’s divorce documentary SPLIT. (www.splitfilm.org)
When I am not coaching or writing, I facilitate trainings for family law professionals and mediators on how to develop a child-centered practice and help the parents help their children. While splitting up is undeniably hard, I believe divorce doesn’t have to equal devastation for families. When parents have access to the right kind of information and support, they have the ability to be a child’s absolute best resource when families change. Although a lot of things have changed since I started working in this field, the culture of divorce still has a lot of flaws.
The family court systems that are designed to help families through this process often do more harm than good. They undermine the integrity of families and children’s ability to sustain meaningful relationships with both of their parents. My goal is to help educate professionals and parents on how to change divorce for the better and keep the focus where it belongs on children. Whether kids live in one home or two, they all deserve an opportunity to have a happy childhood.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
There have lots of twists and turns along the way. Probably one of the most frustrating aspects of my work is when I hear statements like “I wish I’d known about you when I got my divorce” or “Wow, it would have really helped me to know this a lot sooner.” Sadly most parents don’t find their way to my door until they (or their children) are in crisis or things have gotten so bad that they are desperate for help. They say that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure; however, our systems for managing divorce are designed to be more interventive than proactive.
My focus has always been to get information and support into parent’s hands at the earliest possible stage; however, in the early stages, most parents are focused on protecting themselves, and let’s face it, divorce is an expensive process. Most aren’t thinking I’d better find myself a good divorce coach to help me focus on my children and develop a healthy co-parenting relationship with my Ex.
On a personal note, the other big struggle I’ve faced has been finding a good work/life balance. As a mom/bonus mom of four, it was really important to me to be an available and engaged parent. Since my husband has had a demanding job that keeps him on the road for most of our marriage, I’ve clocked in a lot of “parenting on my own” hours. To add to the mix, sometimes we were a family of four and sometimes we were a family of six. As a result, there were times when I have felt stretched pretty darn thin and rethink how I pursued my professional goals.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I’m a speaker, trainer, author, and divorce parenting expert with over 20 years of experience. I offer interactive programs for family law professionals that provide practical tools and strategies aimed at adding value to their practice and turning clients into their biggest fans. My trainings help lawyers and mediators gain skills and practical strategies for helping parents focus on their children instead of each other.
I also maintain an active coaching practice where I work with parents by phone on learning to effectively manage a wide variety of divorce-related challenges. Many of my clients are referrals from family lawyers. A significant part of my coaching practice focuses on helping parents manage many of the challenges that come with parenting children out of two homes. I specialize in dealing with high-conflict situations, minimize conflict for children, child rejection/alienation, and late-in-life divorce involving adult children.
In addition to training and coaching, I have extensive experience in developing resource materials for children of divorce and their parents and have contributed to several media projects as a featured expert, a content consultant and as a writer/producer. I would say the thing that sets my work apart from others is my dedication to keeping the focus on children. I am also extremely committed to offering practical tools and strategies that anyone can use as soon as they leave one of my trainings, workshops or coaching sessions.
What matters most to you? Why?
Breńe Brown says that if you have more than two values, you have no values. What matters most for me is connection and commitment. Both personally and professionally, those two values are deeply woven into just about everything I do.
Contact Info:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: www.divorceandchildren.com
- Instagram: @christina_mcghee
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorceandchildren
