Today we’d like to introduce you to Jackie Melfi.
Hi Jackie, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today.
My story? I was born in 1964 in Wichita, Ks. I am the oldest of three siblings, but if you jump to 2012 that’s when my life really changed. I had recently reconnected with a high school classmate and we’d hit it off. I was about a year outside of a divorce and was learning to live life as a single after spending my entire adult life as a wife and mother. The man I’d known since high school (it wasn’t until after we’d married that we found out we’d actually gone to kindergarten together) was a business owner.
What business? Swinger clubs. Yes, I know, I thought the same thing. A swinger club? Really? Up to this point, I’d led a somewhat sheltered life, so what little I did know about “swingers” wasn’t complimentary at all. The one thing that didn’t seem to fit my opinion of what a swinger was, was my high school friend. He was all the things I’d hoped to find in a partner. He was loving, kind, trustworthy, honest, spontaneous, and generous. But what really drew me to him was his attitude towards me. He wanted me to stretch my wings. He wanted me to experience and get in touch with who I was as a woman. Not as a wife or mother, but as an individual. This was new to me. He was 100% supportive of my autonomy and wanted me to find out what I liked. Again, this was a novel concept for me. No one had ever asked me what I wanted. Did I even know the answer?
Fast forward to today, and not only am I happily married to my swinger club-owning high school friend, but I now help others who are interested in creating the most powerful relationships or marriages possible. Once I understood the dynamics around open relationships I was hooked. For me, an open honest marriage was the missing link in what I’d been looking for in myself and in a partner. Thank goodness, I hadn’t allowed my narrow window of understanding to cloud my view of what was possible or available from a different relationship model.
John and I travel the world speaking to couples and singles about the benefits of creating a tailor-made relationship. We deliver through our website openlove101.com a wealth of information through blogs, podcasts, and YouTube videos. We also mentor couples (regardless of their relationship model) in how to communicate, how to speak up for what they want, how to be honest with one another, and how to put away all the coping skills that are no longer serving them.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
My struggles? Anytime you try something brand new you are going to struggle. We all understand this. Matter of fact the struggle is how we gauge where we are in the process. Whether we’re talking about learning to tie our shoes as a little kid, training for a marathon, starting a new job, or navigating a new relationship model, all will have us super conscious and focused while we are learning.
We will fail, but because what we are doing is important to us, we dust ourselves off and try again. We stay driven until we reach a point where what at first seemed insurmountable is now muscle memory. We tie our shoes today without even thinking about it. Can you imagine what place we’d be in if we’d thrown up our hands in resignation? No, we take pride in the fact that we stuck with it, that we persevered, that we climbed in the arena and faced our perceived limitations.
I like to think the struggles I faced while opening up my marriage were building blocks to a much stronger personal foundation. Sure, I made mistakes. After all, I had a pretty steep learning curve to deal with, especially considering my past. I dealt with things like jealousy, fears, and insecure attachments, but conquering these areas in my life made me a better person. For this I’m grateful.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
I’m a huge believer in paying it forward. My company Openlove101.com is my pay-it-forward gift to those couples and singles committed to creating the best personal and partnership relationships out there. Along with my husband John, our company makes sure those curious about opening up their relationship or marriage have the best information available. We offer a powerful mix of blogs, weekly podcasts, and YouTube videos on everything from dealing with jealousy to how to communicate your needs from a secure self-perception.
We assist any and all relationship models, not just those interested in consensual nonmonogamy because after all, we are still dealing with the same issues. We all seek security, love, commitment, honesty, companionship, trust, transparency, and to be the best we can be. I love the openness of our company and how we are unafraid to tackle tough concerns. We get in the thick of issues and wade through the jumbled-up mess so many of us face when trying to communicate with ourselves and our partners.
We will teach you how to be honest with your feelings. How to be true to self, and how to celebrate one’s autonomy while still being deep inside a relationship. Openlove101.com gives people permission to unpack all the stuff they’ve been told we aren’t supposed to talk about. Openlove101 brings freedom while still being wrapped in the arms of security.
What sort of changes are you expecting over the next 5-10 years?
Our company Openlove101.com is right on the edge of what I see as a critical mass shift in people’s perception of open relationships. As an 8-year-strong company, we’ve seen the audience grow astronomically. We also see this growth in our clubs (my husband and I also own coletteclubs.com a 23-year-old company) matter of fact, many of our new customers in the club are direct customers of our Openlove101.com site.
Couples are expecting more from their relationships today. No longer are we just accepting the status quo, we want a more balanced union. One in which both partners feel heard and where both people are valued. I do see the stigma shifting too.
Sure, you’re still going to have those who proclaim one relationship model is superior to another, but at the end of the day shouldn’t we be applauding couples who are committed to creating the best relationship model for them? I say yes.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://openlove101.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlove101/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/openlove101
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/openlove101
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/openlove101/
- Other: https://pod.link/1475117736 https://www.tiktok.com/@openlove_101 https://www.pinterest.com/openlove101/
