We recently had the chance to connect with Jonisha Tasaki and have shared our conversation below.
Good morning Jonisha, we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: Who are you learning from right now?
I’m learning a lot from my father right now. Even though he is no longer with us, I hear his voice in my head all the time. Especially when I’m doing things that bring me joy. And I feel like I can feel his presence and its a reminder that even after all this time, I’m still living my life in a way that represents him, my mother, and my family. And I hope that I’m still making them proud.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Jonisha Tasaki. I am a full time Registered Nurse and a part time commercial model and actor. I’m a foodie, sneaker enthusiast, and music lover. I recently organized and hosted a wellness event exclusively for healthcare professionals, so I guess you can add event curator to my resume LOL.
What makes my story unique is that, I’m almost 40 and I cannot be put into a box. I think for a long time, my identity was tied to my career. And I loved that because I truly love helping people. Nursing is a very rewarding, but difficult, career field. You’ll see some people glamorize it because it can pay well. And there are so many specialities one can work in, never getting bored. However, they don’t talk about how difficult nursing school is, how hard the state board exams are, how the culture can be toxic, and how you have to have thick skin to deal with the day to day nuances. With that said, there are some areas of nursing that are alot less difficult, and so everyone thinks they can be a nurse. And if you study hard and have a passion for caring for others, you can be. It truly is rewarding but I learned, I’m more than “just a nurse” and honestly, there are times where I feel burned out.
That’s when I started exploring other things in hopes of finding joy again. And those hobbies turned into opportunites to make money and I’m grateful for that because I don’t want to be 75 limping around an operating room.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
For some odd reason, dancing comes to mind. I remember being a little girl and my grandma Carole taking me to my dance lessons. She enrolled me in tap, ballet, tumbling, and gymnastics. And we’d have to dress up in leotards and they’d put cute bows in our hair and we’d perform around town. One time, we performed for an assisted living facility. I still have a picture with my red outfit and red lipstick, I vividly remember my father being upset by the lipstick.
Dance followed me from grade school all the way through high school. I remember performing at the school assembly to TLC no scrubs. My friends and I watched the video a thousand times and while we choreographed our own moves, we definitely did a few of their signature moves. I vividly remember being pulled off stage by the principal in high school because she said I was “booty dancing” while Lil Jon and the East Side boys blasted through the auditorium. Another instance is when my sister and I performed a praise dance for my grandmothers church.
I guess my point is, I was a shy kid until I was doing something I loved, like dancing. And I remember how I felt when I was on stage. I felt powerful, and everyone cheered me on. I felt like I could do anything. And I think that is what helped me transition into different schools, with different friends, and it helped me feel comfortable and safe. It was like I had found my people each time. And when my parents and friends congratulated me, it made me feel proud.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
I’ve always been an open book and I don’t mind sharing personal experiences because I feel like that is the best way to connect with others on a deeper level. However, when it came to my pain and shame behind having miscarriages, I was a closed book. I didn’t tell my mother until almost 2 years after my first one.
I would be at work and purposely go the other way if I saw a pregnant co worker walking towards me. I’d make sure to stay away from the pregnancy conversations happening at lunch. And I would avoid my family and friends asking me questions about when I’m finally going to start a family because I had been married for a good number of years. And that’s always the first thing people want to talk about. So it was July 2020. The week of my wedding anniversary and I had an OB appointment. Unfortunately, I had to go alone, because of the strict COVID rules at that time. I went in for a routine ultrasound, I was 12 weeks along and my previous appointment was smooth, so I had no reason to think this one would be any different. I was in shock as the ultrasound probe gliding across my belly and no sound was audible. I remeber the tech saying she was going to go get the doctor. And when the doctor came in, she was behind him with a box of tissues. I wasn’t crying but she was anticipating that I would after I got the official news. From that point, everything started to sound muffled. I started breathing heavy and I was in disbelief. They gave me privacy to process and I was all alone and I cried for a good while.
This experience and then going back to work and seeing the sad eyes of my coworkers made me feel like less of a women somehow. I don’t know how they knew, of course someone told them, but it got to be too much and I couldn’t function normally. I had to take time off work, get in therapy and work on myself.
It was this huge moment in my life that I wouldn’t talk about and avoided. And I just got tired of hiding it, I got tired of pretending something was wrong with me. I decided to make an instagram post to share and get it all out in the open. It was a onesie with my last name on it, intended for the pregnancy reveal to our parents. The caption was long and I was surprised by the amount of messages I got not only with love and prayers, but stories of women who had been through the same experience. It was my post that helped me to realize, although I’m in pain mentally and physically, I’m not alone. And it really is powerful when we share our stories with one another, because you never know who is watching, or listening, or who can provide resources for you. I’m grateful I had a support system in place prior to the post, but being vulnerable gave me so many more additions to my tribe.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Is the public version of you the real you?
Yes! You’ll see my smiling ear to ear on just about every post I make. In those moments, when I took those pictures, I was either happy or experiencing joy in some way, causing the smile. But I also share moments of anger, frustration, sadness, etc. Because I believe in the truth and I never want my character questioned. Not that the opinions of others matters, but my character, my word, and how I show up in this world matter the most.
In this day in age, it can be hard to tell if what we are witnessing is the real version of someone. Is it a persona they’ve created to influence you for consumerism? Is it who they wish they were? Is it what they think they need to be in order to be accepted? Or maybe its who they are growing into… I’m not here to answer those questions about others. I just try to focus on myself and what I’m putting out into the world. But I will say, I recently got a great compliment from someone saying that she loves watching my Instagram because she feels I post cool things, but she felt like I was genuine and so real.
That honestly made my heart smile, because I don’t know how to be anything else, but me.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
the only constant in life is change. And if you aren’t willing to change and adapt to what is happening around you, you’ll be stuck forever. Change can be good or bad, but it’s really about your perspective and what decisions are made after changes go into effect.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @jtasaki
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonisha-tasaki-patterson/
- Yelp: Jonisha T.
