Today we’d like to introduce you to Kristina Lyann.
Hi Kristina, so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today.
My story is one many people know all too well because it is also their story. It’s a story of a lifetime of betrayal, confusion, and pain caused by the people who were supposed to love me the most but couldn’t. Luckily, this is not where it ended for me. I was able to find the strength and courage I needed and gain the knowledge and wherewithal necessary to dig myself out of the pit and claw my way to the freedom and peace I deserved all along.
My book, titled “From Ashes Into Fire,” was released in March of 2024. It is a deeply personal account of my journey from the brokenness of my life and my marriage to living a life I love and deserve. It’s a walk through every heartbreaking feeling, every discouraging thought, every setback, every failure. But it is also a walk through every triumph, every transformation, every realization, and every step of growth I experienced on my journey to wholeness.
I was married for nearly 25 years to a man I loved with every fiber of my being. He was unable to love me the way I deserved to be loved, cherish me the way I deserved to be cherished, or to honor me the way I deserved to be honored. I stayed when so many times I should have left. I clung when so many times I should have let go.
When I began this journey, I thought I was trying to figure out why my ex-husband treated me so badly, why he betrayed me, why he hurt me, and why he caused me so much pain. All of this while telling me he loved me. As the weeks and months of this “healing” went by, I began to realize that it wasn’t him who I needed to figure out; it was myself I needed to understand. Why did I allow myself to be treated so poorly, why did I tolerate such bad behavior, why did I stay when I was so unhappy and broken from the years of deceit, manipulation, betrayal, and disappointment. Why didn’t I think I deserved better?
Through my journey of self-discovery and self-reflection, I have learned so much about myself. I’ve made so many changes in my mindset and the way I choose to think and believe, especially about myself. I began to recognize that I deserve authentic love. I deserve respect. I deserve to be seen and heard. I deserve to be truly cherished.
It is astonishing and heartbreaking to realize how many women (and men too, I’m sure) give their life to a significant other who does not consider their heart when choosing to be terrible and do awful, hurtful things to them. Along my journey, I’ve had so many conversations with women whose story is so unfortunately close to my own. The heartbreak. The anxiety. The sense of feeling stuck with no way out. The hopelessness. The utter disappointment they feel that their life with their partner is never going to be the loving, cherished, promised life they were sold when they said, “I do.”
“From Ashes Into Fire” is something I decided to share from a place of wanting people to know they are not alone in this fight for their life. I had friends by my side, but at times, I still felt completely alone. I felt no one could fully grasp the intensity of what I was going through, no matter how much they wanted to. This is something I’ve heard from every woman who has opened her heart and shared her story with me. My hope with this book is that my story reaches someone who needs to hear it. Those who need to know they aren’t all alone in what they’re going through or have been through. Someone who needs a little bit of hope that the storm won’t last forever, the crazy will subside, and their life is not over.
You never know the depth of what people are going through. They may look cool, calm, and collected on the outside, but on the inside, they may be drowning, just gasping for one more breath to keep them going for one more day. People don’t always show you what their life really is. Mine was a total mess, and even my closest people never knew it to the extent they now know after reading “From Ashes Into Fire.” It is a book of journal entries made during the four-year battle for my life.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Healing from a life of hurt and betrayal is never an easy road. Deciding to publish a book about it was pretty terrifying. Sharing my deepest, darkest secrets, being completely vulnerable, being seen and heard, and allowing complete strangers to watch me fall apart and pick myself up over and over again was a decision I didn’t make lightly. Once I made it, though, I couldn’t make it happen fast enough.
It has absolutely not been a smooth road. While preparing my book for publishing, it was sometimes excruciating to read back through some of the journal entries. I felt as though I was experiencing the events all over again. But it was also therapeutic, in a sense, to see the transition and transformation happen in a matter of weeks rather than the years that it actually took and to already know that I did make it out alive and well. I’m not boasting here, but I recognize that it is the bravest and most incredible thing I have ever done for myself. The journey has been worth the struggles I’ve faced along the way because now I have a life I’m proud of, a life I don’t have to be afraid to live, and most importantly, a peace I have never experienced before.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I have a degree in photography, which I find little use for these days. Like most people, my phone has taken the place of a real camera. Sadly, the demand for a professional and passionate photographer is not what it used to be. A contributing factor to just kind of walking away from my passion for photography was the rest of my world crumbling around me, which took so much of my mental capacity and shattered the things I was once so passionate about. Maybe one day, now that I’m not so intrenched in the trauma, I will pick up the real camera again. Until then, these phones are quite amazing! As far as my book goes, the cover image was shot by me. The three trees are significant in that they represent the beginning, middle, and end of the many stages of my life. They also make me think of my three amazing boys, who are now men navigating through their own beginnings, middles, and ends.
I have always had a passion for writing. I’ve started many stories throughout my life but have never finished them. What sets “From Ashes Into Fire” apart from others is that it basically wrote itself. My book is a collection of my journal entries between late 2019 and early 2024. It also includes original poetry and short stories. While journaling or scribbling down a new poem, I didn’t sit there thinking I would publish it one day; NO WAY would I ever share my private thoughts with the world! Little did I know, one day, I would decide it felt more urgent and necessary than anything I’ve ever done before.
When a friend calls me and says, “I’m on March 22, 2021”, rather than, “I’m on chapter seven or page 109”, I grab my copy and flip to that date to see what part they’re reading about. Sometimes, I cringe at the level of naivety I had, the desperation I felt, and the things I tolerated, but those things are all a part of my journey and taught me so much! I’m proud of the girl who did the best she knew how to do at the time, and I’m proud of the woman she has become.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
I may be biased, but my book would make a great book club read. It has such important discussion topics that so many people are afraid to talk about. It has everything from love to hate, desperation to complete detachment, and all the stages of grief – probably repeated several times. It has all the drama, trauma, and issues with your mama, all the bitterness and resentment towards your significant other or even toward yourself. It also has the triumphant overcoming of all of it. The lessons. The realizations. The endings and the beginnings.
A trigger warning for anyone with a heart or anyone going through similar things: It’s a difficult read in that it is emotional, sickening, and heartbreaking. It may piss you off. It may reflect yourself back to you. AND it may inspire you to save yourself!
*Warning: some sexual content and bad language
I have created a Facebook Group where people can discuss the book, share their own stories, or just come for support or to encourage others. It’s a private group, so posts are not publicly shared outside of the group’s members. I have a TikTok account as well. Both of these are still building up, but I encourage you to visit. Links for these are below.
Pricing:
- $16.99
Contact Info:
- Website: https://a.co/d/iHjjCwg
- Email: k.l.riseabove@gmail.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2522066484638952/?ref=share
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@klriseabove?_t=8ldeftsZBkd&_r=1
