Today we’d like to introduce you to Lance Decker.
So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
In July of 2012, my oldest son died from complications related to a drug overdose. To say the least, this was one of the most significant life altering experiences my family has ever experienced. After the funeral and things settled down, I was in misery and barely able to function. I started reading books, internet sites on grief and attended a grief group. None of these however helped the deep sense of loss and grief I felt. I doubted my own sanity and that, perhaps, I was “grieving wrong” somehow. I read about Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stages of grief and they didn’t really match what I was going through. For three years I continued a quest to feel better. In late 2015, I came across a website from the Grief Recovery Institute (www.griefrecoverymethod.com). I read about their program and I was intrigued. It gave me some hope for feeling better. I read the book “The Grief Recovery Handbook” by John James and Russell Friedman and it spoke to me. As an engineer, I like process and outcomes.
This program has both. Since I didn’t want others to go through what I had been through for so long, I not only signed up to go through the program, I signed up to teach it.
Two years later, I have a strong start in a practice helping those who are suffering loss. I call it a micro business because much of what I do is free. My 8 week groups are completely free. I have a new group about 3 times a year. I also do one-on-one programs for a weekly fee. For me, it is not about the money (I have a normal job as an engineer), it’s about helping others through losses. Shameless plug here, I have a group starting Sept 24.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Grief is not a topic most people want to talk about. It is right up there with hemorrhoids and funeral planning. I get that, because I was there in that same place.
Finding the best method of advertising has been difficult also. Since I am not making much money at this, the options are limited.
I have worked with my church some to get the word out. I have lectures at the Harris County Public Library in Tomball occasionally and have had a booth at Tomball Night.
Finding people who grieve is not hard. Convincing them that they need a group is another story. As I talk with people, I find that everyone has a story about a loss. Some losses are catastrophic. Others are more subtle. For instance, we just experienced Hurricane Harvey. Some lost loved ones, some houses, some pets, and some lost a sense of control or well-being. All are losses. Losses that affect your joy, your well-being, and who you are, are losses that need to be dealt with. Men in particular are hard to reach about such things.
Society teaches us incorrectly about grief. There are so many myths to dispel. Time really doesn’t heal all wounds. Replacing the loss only hurts more. Pretending you are better, well, is pretending. Keeping busy creates a backlash, etc. etc. Significant grief events typically come at 10+ year intervals, so people tend to forget what helps and what doesn’t. We are taught wrong about disappointment and loss. “Don’t feel bad sweetheart, here, have a cookie.” Unresolved grief creates all manner of other issues (e.g. food, hoarding, alcohol, etc.).
I will tell you that everyone that completes the program thanks me for helping them feel better, for real recovery, and for real change in their outlook.
Please tell us about Grief Recovery by Lance Decker.
I teach programs to help people recover from grief and loss. I teach programs for individuals and groups. I teach a program that helps parents/guardians teach their children to grieve. I also have a pet loss program.
I am most proud when a person completes the program and with tears in their eyes hugs me and thanks me.
If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
Interesting question. I would have liked to have found this program earlier. I have learned several ways not to find clients, but still searching for just the right medium for people to find me.
Pricing:
- Private one-0n-one programs are $100/week for 7 weeks
Contact Info:
- Website: www.lancedecker.com
- Phone: 832-534-0730
- Email: lance@lancedecker.com
- Facebook: @GriefRecoverybyLD
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