Today we’d like to introduce you to Mikayla Williams, MA, LPC, NCC.
Hi Mikayla, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
The story I’ve told too many times is still tough to express. Sometimes I don’t want to claim it, wishing it were more simple. Our reality is just that, though – reality. I lost my dad when I was 16. Suicide, I always wince when I tell people. I wish people wouldn’t ask the big “how did he die” question, but again – it’s reality. My mind was dark, messy, crowded and empty all at the same time. The audacity of the sun to keep rising every day when my dad wasn’t here was just beyond me. It took me a full six months to pick myself up and dust myself off. I’m not sure what happened, but it felt like a nudge. Maybe God, maybe my dad, maybe both of them really pushing me with all their might – I got up. I dedicated my entire life to becoming a counselor in that moment.
In the beginning, I chose counseling purely for him. “If I can just save one person, maybe I can right my wrongs” I thought. I was plagued with guilt. Making that grief, my entire identity was a coping mechanism that eventually stopped working in a good way. A hopeful way. Gradually, this became bigger than him, bigger than me. This isn’t a career you can be successful in if you’re doing it for someone else. It’s an emotionally draining, emotionally nitty gritty kind of job. At the same time, it can be overwhelmingly rewarding if you’re maintaining your self-care and monitoring any potential burnout.
About 11 years after my dad died, I had a baby, got married, and started my very own private counseling practice. I had a newborn and a dream, and I dove head first. I signed the lease to my office when my son was four months old – a five-year lease on a building with four offices that I knew I couldn’t afford by myself. I had pressure on me to get counselors hired so I could pay rent and get clients in the door so I could pay those counselors. I had been on maternity leave and was really starting from the ground up. Thankfully, to my surprise, nobody seemed to think I had lost my mind. I kept telling myself, “build it, and they will come”. It truly would not have been possible without the support from some important people – my sweet grandmother who generously helped me furnish my offices, my husband who encouraged me endlessly, my son who thankfully slept a lot, and others that gave me reassurance when I needed it. I hired my employees, put up some ads, hung some flyers, and sure enough, people came.
We’ve been open a little over a year now, and it’s been great. We’re working on getting a podcast off of the ground, enjoying team-building events, and really finding what’s working. I’m a registered yoga teacher and would love to somehow incorporate yoga into my practice as a counselor, but that’s on the shelf as a more long-term goal for now.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Just like anyone else, I could give you a long, frustrating list of external factors, but my biggest enemy is internal. Since I can remember, my biggest challenge has been battling my imposter syndrome. I kept thinking at some point, it will go away, right? That pesky little self-doubt still tries to weave its way into every facet of my life, though. The negative voice in my head tells me I don’t belong, I’m unworthy of good things and undeserving of success, and if good things happen, it was somehow a mistake – not in any way due to my own efforts. When my office lease started and I was working alone, I kept waiting for someone to come in and tell me I wasn’t supposed to be there. I started hiring people through the lens of “please come work for me, I’ll take anyone that will come” versus “are you a fit for this really cool practice I’m starting?” It took me a while to set boundaries with myself and not only manage my self-doubt but also allow myself to be a boss as well.
My amazing administrator I hired handles a lot of the day-to-day things, and even now, I have a hard time resting. I’ll be at home with my son worrying that I’m not doing enough for my business. The old narrative is this – if I slip and don’t meet my own unreasonable expectations, my brain must be right and I must not be worthy of success. They’ll know I’m a fraud, don’t belong here, and don’t know what I’m doing all the time, and I’ll prove the universe right – why did I even try?
The new narrative is still forming, but what it really comes down to is that I get to take up space and have a voice, and I don’t have to hit a certain number on the productivity scale to be worthy. I tell myself I’m not finding success, I‘m creating it. That’s much more empowering, and it’s the truth.
I face a lot of “shoulds”, and feel a constant need to prove myself. I’m working through that and recently have been giving myself due credit. It’s been really empowering.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Mindful Movements Counseling Center?
Give me all the trauma and grief, and I’ll help you find the resilience. There’s something so beautifully human to dive into the darkest depths of our psyche, pure vulnerability for the sake of healing. At Mindful Movements, we really see everyone. We have counselors for individual teens and adults, couples and families, those on the Autism spectrum, play therapy for kids, and all kinds of things within those populations. There’s a special place in my heart for grief and trauma work, though. I think there are levels of grief, and those deep, deep losses are just something so incomprehensible to so many people until it happens. I’m comfortable there – I can walk through that dark place with you. It changes us, similar to trauma. I mean, that deep grief often is trauma. Likewise, I find it so rewarding to work with people through childhood trauma. We create patterns early in our lives based on our surroundings that affect us well into adulthood, and it’s so amazing to uncover those patterns so we can intentionally create new ones. I have clients that often tell me things they’ve never told anyone – things they think will shock me to my core and I can see the worry cross their faces waiting for my reaction. I’ve heard it all, though, and I’m really just so proud of everyone that finds the bravery it takes to be vulnerable. That’s how we heal, and witnessing and aiding in it is such an honor.
What matters most to you? Why?
As the name of my practice implies, I’m huge on mindfulness. It’s not all meditating and yoga – it’s just paying attention. When we’re mindful, we’re engaging in an intentional awareness of both the internal and external. A conscious focus on our thoughts and emotions can help us recognize patterns so we can dismantle what’s not working and put more energy into what’s going well. How we respond to situations, how we feel around people, how we react to our own thoughts and feelings – awareness all of these things requires mindfulness. When I’m not being mindful, I feel so disconnected in every way. I feel separated from the world – from myself, even. We can’t have true connection with ourselves or the world around us when we’re distracted. It’s really about slowing down and neutrally observing and taking it all in – what am I seeing, hearing, feeling physically and mentally, what is going on in my surroundings? Of course, this is easier said than done sometimes.
It’s also important that I emphasize that a high level of mindfulness isn’t always what we need in the moment. When we have experienced trauma of some sort and what we’re thinking and feeling is just too much, distraction is a great temporary coping skill.
When mindfulness is the answer, though, we can do that anytime, anywhere. Walking through the grocery store, eating some chocolate, sitting outside, folding the laundry – it’s free, it’s always accessible, and it gets easier with practice.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.mindfulmovementscounseling.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/mindfulmovementscounseling?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindfulmovementscounseling/
Image Credits
Zayne Simmons
