Today we’d like to introduce you to Pam Matula.
Pam, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I am the oldest of four girls and was the first in my family to go to college. I always excelled in school but was painfully shy. I got an accounting degree from Baylor in 1994, and my first job was at Price Waterhouse as an auditor. I earned my CPA license in 1997. I learned early on that book smarts are not enough to make you successful in the corporate world, so I spent many of the following years trying to step outside of my comfort zone so that I could be seen and heard. I was successful by most people’s standards; however, the stress and deadlines of the roles I was in resulted in anxiety, isolation, and burnout. I felt stuck with no real options for changing careers. I worked for Enron as an accountant from 1998 through 2006, so I saw the rise and fall of one of America’s biggest companies in history firsthand. It was a surreal experience because, during the rise, the building was bustling with some of the best and brightest employees in Houston. No one would have been offered a job to work there and turn it down. We worked crazy hours, but it was an experience like no other. When the fall happened at the end of 2001, I saw so many people lose everything because employees were encouraged to invest 100% of their retirement savings into Enron stock. I realized then and there that you cannot give your all to an employer because you never know when it can be taken away from you. This is counterintuitive to someone like me though, who always strives to give their all to everything I do. I was asked to stay on board after the bankruptcy to help the lawyers untangle the mess for five years. It was depressing because of the constant reminder of what had been. I was the last employee remaining in the group I was hired in, that had approximately 20 employees prior to bankruptcy. I struggled after I left Enron to find a place in the corporate world that gave me balance or fulfillment, especially after knowing that things can change in a heartbeat.
I became a single mom in my mid-30s, and for the following 8 years, I balanced raising my son on my own along with a very demanding career. Throughout this time, I focused on running and training for races (mostly half marathons) as a way to control my anxiety. I realized that when I was focused on my training, I slept and ate better, I was more centered, and I felt like I had more control over the circumstances around me. It helped me to become the best version of myself. It also helped me to be the role model to my son that I wanted to be.
I met my husband Kenny in 2016, and we married in 2018. He adopted my son, and we have a very fulfilling life together. Being married to him allowed me to explore different career options, so I got my paralegal certificate in 2017 and started working contract jobs to try to incorporate my accounting and analytical skills with the legal skills I learned.
Along with my career exploration, I also began to take on bigger and bigger running challenges, including a full marathon in Hawaii in 2019, a 100-mile ultra marathon in 2020, and another 100-mile ultra marathon in 2021. I participated in the ultra-marathons as a way to raise funds and awareness for children’s cancer because my husband lost his young daughter to brain cancer in 2010. He taught me to have the right perspective about life that we have to cherish each day because each day is truly a gift.
As I was finding fulfillment in my running and not in my career, I began to take a harder look at how I wanted my path to continue. I wanted to have a purposeful life, giving back to others and helping people figure out what is most meaningful to them. I always enjoyed mentoring younger associates in the corporate world, so becoming a life coach sounded very appealing to me.
I got certified in May 2023 through the Life Purpose Institute to be a life coach, and I have been coaching clients to feel empowered to achieve the goals that mean the most to them. I am also now learning to be a half marathon race pacer so that I can help other runners achieve their running goals.
I believe that when we are intentional with our life and not just reacting to the circumstances around us, we can achieve overall mental wellness, balance, and fulfillment.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
It has definitely not been a smooth road! But I will say that I view every life experience as a way to learn and grow to be my best self. I struggled most of my growing-up years with self-esteem and self-worth issues. It took me a long time not to seek validation from other people, and that process results in a lot of hurt along the way. Because I am an empath, I deeply invest my emotions into other people. This helps me to be a great listener and friend, but also opens me up to a lot of hurt. I have misjudged a lot of relationships, and that has caused me, at times, to pull away into a state of loneliness and depression. I have been married twice before, so rebuilding my identity and finances multiple times has not been easy. The biological father of my son walked away during my pregnancy, so figuring out everything on my own was probably the biggest struggle of my life.
I also still struggle sometimes with boundaries and finding the balance between caring enough, but not so much that my mental health is at risk if someone lets me down. Since I am an oldest sister, there is a nurturing side of me that is very second nature, and that makes me want to jump in at times and fix issues that are not mine to fix. I am getting much better, but it has definitely been a struggle.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am an empowerment coach, which means I love to empower people to spend the time to figure out what lights them up and make sure it is incorporated into their life! I think of life as a puzzle, and the puzzle pieces can change as the chapters of our life change. Puzzle pieces are areas of life where we spend our time, such as career, relationships, raising kids, hobbies, traveling, spirituality, mental health, physical health, education, community, etc. When people are overwhelmed, I believe it is because they have too many puzzle pieces and they can’t accomplish everything that is on their plate, or there is a missing puzzle piece that holds the key to their fulfillment. When we don’t feel in control of our puzzle pieces, there is chaos and unhappiness. Most people just need time to figure out if the chaos is related to time management or priority issues, boundary issues, or a limiting belief that tells them that they can’t have or do something. Once we figure out the pieces of the puzzle for the particular chapter of life we’re in, we feel more at peace, more centered, and more confident about the future. As one puzzle piece falls away (for instance the kids grow up), we find meaning when we figure out what to replace the puzzle piece with. It could be traveling more, more time with friends, volunteering, finding a new hobby, or something else.
I love promoting self-care and mental wellness. I believe it is the difference between surviving and thriving.
I’m most proud of my ability to listen to other people, break big goals into small attainable pieces, and to have achieved every goal I have set for myself. I love that so many people have confided things in me that they tell me they have never told another person. I love being a person that people are inspired by. The shy girl I was growing up would be in awe at the woman I have become.
Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
When I was in high school and trying to figure out what to study in college, I was so shy that I didn’t ask a lot of questions. I had this idea that it was selfish to ask for help, and I needed to figure it out on my own. I ended up choosing accounting without understanding what life as an accountant would be like. By the time I figured it out, it was too late to change the path. My advice is ask lots of questions, seek out answers, research, do whatever you can to help make sure you are on the best path for yourself. It is not selfish to ask for help; it’s actually very mature.
The other piece of advice is that it is not selfish to take care of yourself first. Pour into your own cup, and you will be the best version of yourself to be the best parent, partner, friend, etc. to others. So many people get so caught up taking care of the people they love or their career that by the time they realize that they forgot to take care of themself, it’s almost too late to correct things.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.intentionalbutterflycoaching.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pam.matula.life.coach/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/985631922885223
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-matula-45637837/
Image Credits
Candice O’Brien
