Today we’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Robinson.
Hi Stephanie, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
How do I find the courage to face suffering in my life? How do I find peace in the darkness or cope with overwhelming grief? I pray my story will help you begin to answer these questions.
In June of 2019, I was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer. I had ten surgeries and eight months of chemo and radiation. My dad died 2 weeks after my first surgery. My sister was diagnosed in the middle of my treatment. By the end of 2020, my husband and I were separated for a bit and my mom died just after Christmas. After all that, cancer returned in July of 2023 as metastatic stage 4. As far as doctors are concerned, their goal is to give me as many years as possible. Aside from a miraculous healing, I will be on chemo indefinitely. I am asking for a miracle, but no matter what, I’m continuing to learn how to face suffering in my life.
When we suffer, our tendency is to either stuff it or dwell on it. Meaning, we do everything we can not to face our reality. We do our best to ignore it or replace it. This is why we immerse ourselves in social media, TV, video games, etc. Suffering well means having the courage to face our reality and see God’s faithfulness, healing, and people.
2 Cor. 1:3-11 (MSG) “All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times…We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of His healing comfort – we get a full measure of that, too. …When we suffer for Jesus, it works out for your healing and salvation. If we are treated well, given a helping hand and an encouraging word, that also works to your benefit, spurring you on, face forward, unflinching. …We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally…”
See, suffering produces something. Whether we gain or lose something is up to us. Paul acknowledges that we will face hard times, but reminds us that we “get a full measure of ” the good times too. It’s not just about seeing His goodness on easy days. Suffering well is about trusting in His goodness on the worst days. In the darkest times, you are seeking something new regardless of the reality you’re facing. It’s about leaning into these moments, finding hope, and looking for what God is doing. Suffering well means that while I’m facing the reality of pain, physically or mentally, I’m seeking what new life God is birthing in me.
The day I was diagnosed, my thoughts were dark. Thoughts of will this come back? Am I going to die? Will I still be beautiful? Will my family be angry at God? Will I live long enough to raise my girls, see them get married, and have kids? They were 8 and 10 at the time. I felt like Paul when he said, “I didn’t think we were going to make it. I felt like we had been sent to death row.” That night I couldn’t sleep. I felt fear gripping me as if it would never let go. I was praying, but it wasn’t working. After an hour of laying in bed, I knew what I had to do. I needed to sit with the Lord and lay all my fears, anxiety, and emotions at His feet. Facing my reality was the only way hope and peace would come. I needed the supernatural power of God! I got up, put on worship music, and sat in my chair. I couldn’t think of anything to say. Again, God was faithful. Before I knew it, I was on the floor ugly crying. The only words I could say were, “I trust You, Lord.” Over and over again, I sat there repeating those four words. Finally, breakthrough came! There is something you face when you are brought to a place where control is totally taken. When surrender is the only option, you’re forced to just lay completely vulnerable before the Lord. That night I refused to come up off my face until His peace, that passes all human understanding, came to me.
Suffering well means seeing God’s faithfulness in the suffering. My diagnosis was rare. I don’t have family history and my genetics test was negative. My doctor wanted me to get a mammogram early at age 36. God used this doctor to save my life. If I would have waited until I was 40, the normal age, it would have been too late. Also, because of my diagnosis, they found my sister’s cancer early. God saved our lives! He was so faithful! In every relationship, loyalty and faithfulness over time builds trust and grows the relationship. In order to suffer well, we must see His faithfulness so our trust in Him grows.
Suffering well means being able to allow healing in your suffering. Through surgeries and treatments, I had a lot of time on my hands. I spent time sitting with God, reading His Word, and praying. It truly became a season of supernatural healing. Not only was I healing physically, I began gaining vision for the next season of my life. This is where the concept of suffering well was born!
In times of suffering you have to find rhythms of resting, refueling and returning. These rhythms produce healing. You need rest, both physically and emotionally. You need to refuel your body with good foods, and refuel your mind with God’s Word. Then, you need to return to life. You need to get back out there. Returning to life brings perspective back to us. Being around God’s people and living out God’s Word provides relationships in our lives. God created us for relationship. It’s a basic need He put in us. We need to cycle through good rhythms in life or we won’t heal. Resting too long causes isolation. Isolation feeds fear and anxiety and causes us to focus on ourselves. It skews our perspective and stunts growth. Too much refueling causes us to over-think and become critical. Returning to life without allowing time to rest and refuel causes us to become fatigued and overwhelmed. Be careful not to get stuck in one rhythm too long or you will become a victim to your suffering.
Suffering well means joining with His people in your suffering. Our need for relationship is real. We need people. God used people to bring supernatural strength to me. In the spirit and in the natural, there is no way I would have made it without God’s people. God used people to remind me every day that I was loved and not alone. He knew how to speak my language. Each gift spoke directly to my heart. There wasn’t a single day that went by without some form of love coming to us.
On my hardest days, it was people God used to remind me of His peace and faithfulness. God uses His people to show His love. If you’re thinking, I don’t have people, I have a few questions for you. Do you put yourself in places where you can build friendships? Do you turn to people or away from people when you suffer? Most people turn away and act like they are alone, but the truth is, you are only alone if you choose to be. I have people in my life because I choose to join in life with people. We must lean into our relationships when we are suffering.
Although I would never say I’m glad I have cancer, I’m grateful that God hasn’t wasted a bit of my pain. I don’t know where you are in your life today. If you’ve never accepted the Lord, ask Him to be your Lord and surrender your life to Him. Maybe you know Him, but you feel overwhelmed and lost. Maybe you need to sit with Him so you can begin to see His faithfulness. Maybe you need to prioritize some new rhythms so you can heal. Maybe you need to find some people – I recommend a good church! Wherever you are, I hope my story brings you hope and courage to start suffering well. My prayer is that when life and suffering collide, you can have the courage to say, “I trust You, Lord.”
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Oh it has definitely not been a smooth road. There are many ups and downs and new levels of surrender and trust I have to face. Deep, agonizing fear I have to combat daily to not let it take over. Just this week, they found 4 more brain tumors, a tumor in my lung, and 4 more tumors in my liver. In just two months time, things have grown rapidly. The biggest struggle is living in the tension of not acting like I’m dying tomorrow or next year, but prioritizing my life to live around family and friends, but also keep quality and purpose in front of me. What good does it do me to live like I’m dying a slow death? Even though my body some days just gives out and my mind gets tired of fighting these thoughts moment by moment, I have to learn to see and live with an eternal perspective with hope in my future. But how? How do we face these hard questions and not spiral out of control? The is what my story is about learning to do.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I’m a staff pastor of Lighthouse Church in Panama City. I’ve been working in ministry for 19 years and I’ve loved it. I have worked in kids ministry, adult ministry, leadership and connecting people to the family of God. I’m most proud of just learning to love people who are different than me and trying to love the Lord and follow Jesus. I think what sets me apart from others is my ability to keep my faith and trust in the Lord no matter what is thrown at my life. Learning that I can trust him with not just my life, but the life of my children, family and others. Knowing without a doubt that he has good for my life not matter what I see. Learning to trust him the most when I understand my circumstances the least.
Before we let you go, we’ve got to ask if you have any advice for those who are just starting out?
Surround yourself with community that is running after Jesus. Your community matters more than you’ll ever know. You won’t believe this and you’ll talk yourself out of it, but God chose people as his communicators on the earth. He designed us for relationship and created us to live in relationship. But not all relationships are created equal and relationships take hard work and consistently, and intentionally to grow them.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephie.rob
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephie.a.robinson
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephie_rob
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Image Credits
Photo credits to Kayli Pickett and graphics to Savannah Bailey
