Today we’d like to introduce you to Sterling Mark.
Sterling, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I’m originally from Lufkin, Texas, the “country ghetto”. I am the owner of Sterling Empowerment and author of the Pass the Torch-Professional Development Workbook & Guide. This is the person you see now, but let’s dig a little deeper into my upbringing.
I’ve never met my father and my mother resorted to alcohol/tobacco to provide her balance. I have an older sister and younger brother, which we all have different fathers. I’ve never lived with my sister, and I was introduced to eight different step parents by the time I was in the 8th grade, but my memorable years began in the 5th grade.
5th grade, my mother, brother and I lived with my aunt, her three kids, and boyfriend. 8 of us lived in a two-bedroom shack on Minnie Lou St., with roaches and rats. We didn’t have any gas nor hot water, so we couldn’t use the stove or oven – only crock-pots and hot skillets. To take a hot bath, we would get this Kemp’s ice cream bucket, put it in the microwave for 10 minutes, then poured it in the tub or took a wash off. On top of that, my cousins were gang affiliates, and wherever we lived was the hangout for the whole crew, so I was exposed to the gang/street culture earlier than most. I really appreciate all of those guys because they always looked out for me!
Fast forward to middle school. 7th grade was the year that I went to class, the teacher asked everyone to introduce themselves and tell the class what they want to do after they graduated. Of course, you hear the typical “NFL”, “NBA”, “Doctor”… when it was my turn, I actually told the class that I wanted to drop out of school my sophomore year of high school. Mainly because that’s what the people that I was influenced by did, so I just believed that I was going to become part of that cycle. This was also the year I moved back to Lufkin with a family member that really didn’t want me living there. I vividly remember him having my bags packed on the last day of school, and dropping me off at my grandparent’s house.
Fast forward to high school, the end of my sophomore year was very memorable. Sophomore year ended and the summer came, now my mother decides that she wants to move again, this time to Wichita Falls, TX. I told her I wasn’t going! I had a job, went through the privations to buy my own car and I was finally doing well for myself. I ended up going to work, and when I came home my mother and brother were gone. The crazy thing is I don’t even remember them packing things up and moving out, I just remember coming home and they were gone. I tried to open the front door but it was locked, so I climbed through my window which I kept unlocked. I cut the light on in my room and there I found the note that my brother left me on my dresser saying “I love you and I’ll see you when I see you.” I depressingly put all my stuff in my car, drove to Mt. Calvary Baptist church parking lot and just shed tears. I listened to one of my favorite songs, Time After Time, (Artist: Trae Album: Same Thing Different Day) and it had hit me that my brother and mother were really gone and that instance I felt all alone. My junior year of high school arrived, and from that point on, I was introduced to street life, hands on. I ended up moving four more times before I graduated. I moved in with my grandparent for six months, lived with the Coutee family for another six months, lived with the Hewitt’s for a couple months, then lastly an aunt (which wasn’t my blood aunt).
My last move, my senior year, was with an aunt Dede. I consider her an angel because she provided a stable home for me, and her family (The Gibson Family) encouraged me to go to college after graduation. It’s funny because I remember going to the Career Center my senior year, filling out this form online, devastated by how long it took, not aware that this was the FASFA Application. It was then that I was made aware of the opportunities to go to college but not in depth. At the end of the application, the lady that worked in the career center told me to select the schools that I was interested in going to. I chose: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Sam Houston, Texas Tech, Steven F. Austin and Prairie View A&M University. Fortunately, I was accepted by Prairie View A&M University and declined by all other schools. Sadly, all of the times that I skipped one class at a time ended up counting as a whole day. Now, I have to go and get different absences excused and make up lies so that I could be able to walk across the stage. After doing what I had to do, I was officially graduating from Lufkin High School, and the Gibson family mentally guided me to go to college, which I was accepted by Prairie View A&M University.
When I arrived at Prairie View, I didn’t know a thing about college, college life or higher learning. I was so uninformed about college, that when asked, whether or not I wanted a “major and a minor vs. a double major”, I responded “MINOR? Why have a minor if I can have two majors?” I was unaware of the double workload and the pure understanding of what a major even was. I wasn’t familiar with fraternities and sororities either. To sum it up, I was unconscious, PERIOD. I was still in a ghetto mentality and I promptly began to engage with people who were in the same state of mind. Four years pass by and I was still stuck in the mindset of a hoodlum. I thought I was “living the life”, riding on “swangaz” in a Cadillac, banging my music loud. It took someone trying to rob me at gunpoint in broad daylight for my car for me to realize that I was choosing that lifestyle, and I didn’t have to. Now, almost five years had passed and all of my friends that I started college with had either graduated or dropped out. Now, my family is constantly asking me, “When are you graduating?”
After being asked several times, I realized that this whole college experience was bigger than me. I am here representing my family and the less fortunate who had the potential to be here but couldn’t, due to the situations they were born into. Shortly after the realization, I joined Collegiate 100, an organization on campus that served low-income communities, and tutored young men in the local area to become better men. It really helped my transformation, being around like-minded brothers trying to succeed in an impressive manner. Soon after, in May 2012, I graduated with my BS in Business Marketing. My family came and a lot of people were overwhelmed and proud of me.
Unfortunately, the next day came and I realized I graduated, but I had no job. What am I going to do? I moved back to Lufkin for about two weeks, got in some trouble, so I moved back to Houston with a friend. The job market was so bad in Houston that I found myself wasting my money on spending gas to find a job. I had got to a point to where I was waking up at 7 a.m. every morning to get on Craigslist, to go help someone move for cash daily. After more than a month of that, I knew that I needed to go back to school and further my education. I could also resume my on-campus job, all I needed was to get accepted. I knew if I scored high enough on the GMAT, the test that everyone has to take to pursue a Master’s in Business Administration, I could get accepted back into school and have another chance to do everything the right way, and I did! When I was accepted into the MBA program, I was serious, more prepared, passionate and aware of everything it was going to take to succeed. Everything from keeping my GPA high, consulting with the teacher during office hours, interacting and asking questions in-class, seeking outside help when needed and having the self-efficacy to achieve all of my goals. I also crossed Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc., Spring ’13, which was a great accomplishment for me. Alpha actually found me, which was the best thing possible because, with the mindset I had as an undergrad, I would have been joining for the wrong reasons, which would have come to light as time progressed.
Summer of 2014, I was given the opportunity to interview and was selected for the 1st Intern position for the Office of the President, under the leadership of Vice President of Administration, Dr. Micheal McFrazier. During my tenure as the Intern, I was able to interact with high-level executives on a daily and get hands-on experience with office politics and how to address a certain situation. I was given many assignments and tasks but the most important and influential was creating and facilitating the Men Achieving Excellence Program (M.A.L.E.), a program designed for incoming freshmen males for the month of July. This program allowed me to lead 11 mentors and prepare for over 90 incoming freshman males, which would partake in the Panther Pride Summer Bridge Program that Prairie View has every summer. This program and interacting with high-level executives, really sharpened my attention to detail, presentation and professional skills. Also, because of this opportunity, I was selected to attend the White-House Initiative on HBCU’s in Washington D.C. which was life-changing. I was able to network with so many student ambassadors from other HBCU’s, as well as meet other professionals that were highly involved in the education initiative. This really motivated me to make a difference and somehow get back to D.C. because it was my first time in that type of atmosphere and was very monumental to me. Late September 2014, I found the perfect opportunity to get back to D.C. There was a career fair at my school and I knew the Thurgood Marshall Leadership Institute would be there for their conference in November, so I started to get my research together so that I would be a complete standout. The ironic part about that is I was interviewed a year prior, which was before my transition and of course the interviewer was the same person as the year before. When she saw me, she was in awe.
The first interview I had, I showed up late, didn’t know anything about the conference or what it was for, and I was just awful and embarrassed. Although I was late she told me, “I am going to interview you, but you will not be selected.” It was very challenging sitting through an interview that I knew was pointless, but I did and ultimately it helped me. When I came back, I was so prepared that I knew there was no way that I wouldn’t get accepted. I was early, did my research and was prepared for every question asked. After the interview, she smiled and I knew I was selected. November came and the night before I left, I told my friend Marcus, “I am about to go up here and change my life” and I did. I was sharp and impressive for the whole conference! I made a lasting impression and relationship with the founder and the president, not to mention I left the conference with three job offers. I was very gracious that at this point and time, I only had 1 class left to take in my degree and it was online, so I could relocate if needed. I accepted a position with Walmart Distribution, relocated to Smyrna, Delaware, and begin my career in corporate America as a logistics area manager. I accomplished some great things while working there, I was promoted within my first year, and I also put together a charity basketball event that raised 10k for a local middle school. I didn’t go back to Texas until my graduation on May 15th, and of course, tragedy found its way back in my life. A week before my return, my grandfather had a light stroke and was in intensive care. This man meant everything to me so I had to hear his voice as soon as possible to make sure he was feeling okay. I told my brother to go up there and call me when he got there so that I could talk to him and he did. I asked him how he felt and he responded: “pretty good, just a little swelling around my foot but I’m feeling pretty good.” I let him know that I would be in Houston the next Thursday to graduate Friday, then I would leave and come to Lufkin, my hometown, to see him. So, I did as I said, but the next day, I got the news that my grandfather had a massive stroke Friday night, as I was walking the stage. I arrived at Lufkin that weekend and the first place I stopped was the hospital. My grandfather was back in ICU and I got there about 10 minutes before they unlocked the doors for visitation, and I was the first one there to see him at that time. As I approached his room, I saw his name on the whiteboard on the door and that’s when the depression started to set in. I had never seen my grandfather in a hospital nor weak, so I tried to prepare myself for what I was about to see.
I stayed in Lufkin about five more days before I had to return to Delaware and each day I saw him progress. He could mumble what he was trying to say and he was responsive to the doctor’s treatment as the days went by. The night before I left to go back, I slept on the floor in the hospital with him and my grandmother. My plane left at 8 a.m. in Houston, so I had to be up at 3.a.m. I got up at 3 a.m. and told my grandmother I’m about to go, and I looked at my grandpa and said “PAW PAW”, he looked up at me and I said “paw paw I’m about to go back to Delaware, you take care of yourself and I will see you next time.” He shook his head up and down with understanding and found the strength to tell me “be careful.” Those were the last words my grandfather ever said to me. He was sent to a nursing home and wound up having a few more strokes that caused him to no longer be able to move or focus his eyes. Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016, the greatest man I knew died. I woke up that morning and looked at my phone, which I saw I had about seven missed calls. I looked at who all it was and I knew then before I called anybody that my grandfather had passed. I flew out the next morning and arrived in Lufkin, Texas on Wednesday afternoon. It felt like a dream because I still couldn’t believe that he was gone and that I was about to carry his body to the grave. It was very hard, but my family and I got through the funeral. While I was in Lufkin, I stayed with my grandmother about three nights and what I realized then was how bad her Alzheimer disease had worsened. It was really sad for me to hear my grandmother reminisce and tell the same stories repeatedly as if she had never told them. I flew back to Delaware, and my mentality from this point was more focused.
At that point, the questions that I had been asking myself were “am I content?” and “is this really what I want to do with my life?”, and the answer to both of those was NO! It had been a year and eight months and I am already tired of putting in long 12-13 hour shifts for Walmart and not having any time nor strength to invest in something that I own. I also didn’t like how certain upper-level managers played politics and what they would call “the game.” My heart was in the education field; empowering students with the knowledge and survival skills to matriculate and prepared for their potential career. With that passion, I started my own business, Sterling Empowerment which would lay the foundation for ownership and empowering other people through products and services. While I was still with Walmart, I started writing my first book, published it in late 2017, and moved back to my hometown to build my brand.
It’s crazy because, I didn’t know anything about publishing books, building a buzz or none of that! I actually ended up publishing the book, then moving into the house with my grandmother because I knew she needed my help. I lived with her for a year and literally just sat on my book while speaking here and there. My grandmother’s Alzheimer disease had gotten really bad and I just wanted to make sure that I was there for her through her toughest times, because I knew she was missing her husband! I lived there with her, day in and out for a little over a year, then I received a job offer in Houston, and my mom moved in with my grandmother. October 2018 came and I finally made the decision to go harder with my entrepreneurial journey. October 3rd, I was feeling very motivated and inspired, so I wanted to call home to my grandmother to check on her. It was about 7 o’clock, and unfortunately, no one answered the phone. I was in shock, then something told myself “call your mom, while you have a chance!” When I told myself this, I even wondered why I said that, but I continued with the call. When my mom answered the phone, she said: “I’m in the emergency room, I have to call you back!” I asked “what’s wrong with granny? She okay?” Her response was “I can’t walk” and she hung up.
On that day, my mom had a stroke, and we were forced to place my mom and my grandmother in a nursing facility in the same month. This was one of the hardest things ever, but it wasn’t the last. March 6th, 2019, my grandmother passed away. It hurt very badly, but I knew that she had no more pain, and was able to reunite with my grandfather again which eased the pain somewhat. From December 2018- March 2019, I still had speaking engagements, and going through these situations made me speak to my pain a lot deeper. Music was able to help me get through a lot of my mental conflicts as well, and tragedy struck again the day my icon, Nipsey Hussle, was assassinated outside of his store the last day in March. This hurt really badly because Nipsey’s music was able to assist me to make better business decisions and empower me to keep educating the youth that comes from economically disadvantaged communities. He was a real model, community advocate, businessman and inspiration, much more than just an artist! To think that I would lose Nipsey and my grandmother in the same month was insane! Thankfully, the life I have lived has prepared me to be resilient, and this was another test of character! Now, I am more motivated than ever to continue the mission to educate the youth through my testimony, skills, and experiences, to prepare them for the next phases of their lives. I recently published the 2nd edition of the Pass the Torch-Professional Development & Guide, which will be accompanied with a facilitators guide, and I am steadily taking my business to new levels! Visit SterlingEmpowerment.com for more information.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Nothing was easy! Growing up in many poverty-stricken communities that suffers from post-traumatic trauma is a trap from the start! Being separated from family, not having any connection to my ancestry, and moving every year, really depletes the ability to have a solid foundation to have success after high school. It wasn’t until college that I realized how important it was for a black kid to learn black history. Then I realized why I never connected with History classes growing up because there were no black leader’s in the history books outside of Martin Luther King. The day that I realized how miss educated I was in history growing up, was the day my eyes opened to many more hidden truths. When I learned the history of Prairie View and all the pain administrators and students had to endure, and it made me not only appreciate Prairie View even more, but it made me want to explore more about the history of my own family and previous black leaders.
Fast forward to my professional career, in corporate America and on my entrepreneurial journey, being a young African American in education is rare and sometimes frowned upon. In corporate America, I had to be aware and stand against the politics & cultures that may be deeply rooted. I had to realize that being young, African American, educated and determined, could be seen as a threat in the eyes of people who hold higher level positions. With my entrepreneurial journey, I still faced the same situations, yet the major difference or shock to me was conversing with people that look like me and them never responding back. The conversations we would have at an event or in person would be great. They would say things like “we need you to come do …” or “we would love to invite you out to do ….” but when it came down to following through, some people would never respond. This caused a lot of anger, but I had to realize that sometimes people just feel threatened, and I can understand why. The generation before me that are in higher positions, many of them worked their way up, the long way. They may not have a college degree and have been loyal with the company for years. For a young person to now show up all “energetic” and “innovative”, can be seen as a potential threat to replace them. This is the same mentality in any industry and I had to learn that.
Sterling Empowerment – what should we know? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
My business, Sterling Empowerment, is an educational consultant platform that provides: speaking consultations on various topics for large and small groups, the Pass the Torch-Professional Development Workbook & Guide, the Pass the Torch-Professional Development Workbook & Facilitator’s Guide, and will soon offer empowerment apparel. I am known for being able to uplift and instill a sense of purpose in the lives of economically disadvantaged “at-risk” youth, empowering them with tools and knowledge to develop a mindset to create generational wealth. What separates me from others are my: education, relate-ability, transparency, resiliency, experiences, and authenticity. I am a very dynamic up and coming speaker, and no one can duplicate what I do because it’s based on me!
What moment in your career do you look back most fondly on?
One of the proudest moment for me was actually seeing my grandmother, grandfather and mother at my first graduation at Prairie View A&M University. I knew that it meant a lot to them, knowing everything that I had to endure on my journey. Also, as I reflect on my journey, I know that it really took a village of people to help me along my way, elementary – present! On many occasions I slept on people couches, floors, and cots! When you come up like I did, you don’t really realize the financial burden you may be on a family, so I want to thank you all who helped me! I would love to list all, but I’d hate to forget someone so “THANK YOU ALL! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!”
Contact Info:
- Website: SterlingEmpowerment.com
- Phone: 9362407529
- Email: sterling@sterlingempowerment.com
- Instagram: @sterlingempowerment
- Facebook: Sterling Mark
- Twitter: @sterlingempower
Image Credit:
Special thanks to @rdotsmith (IG)
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