Today we’d like to introduce you to Tanisha Vinson.
Tanisha, before we jump into specific questions about your organization, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I was born and raised in the Houston/Humble area. I grew up in a loving family full of Faith and resilience. My mother was my hero as I watched her work multiple jobs to care for my brother and I, and still be able to love us, challenge us, teach us and encourage us. I was taught to think of others, to pray, to love, to give, to share, to work hard, to be confident, to not be lazy and to appreciate and be thankful for everything knowing someone had it worse than us. In the midst of all of this, I found a deep love for music and started singing and writing with my first debut in the church as a young child. I didn’t realize it at the time, but soon would realize that music would be my therapy.
Overall, I can honestly say that I believe I had a great childhood, but I would be a liar if I failed to mention that it also came with some turmoil, some disappointment and abuse. When my parents separated, I remember having no desire to eat for about a week and losing weight. I loved both my parents and wanted them together and of course, later on in life, you realize that it was the best decision and I wasn’t the reason for that separation/divorce. I slowly grew silent and began to write and sing. Then, I lost my grandmother (aka MoMo), who was like my best friend. She was strict, oh my goodness, but she loved us tremendously and her unexpected death shook our family to its core. But we survived it growing stronger together. I wrote more and sung more. Then I experienced being molested by a male on multiple occasions that I at the time, had no words to describe how I felt. I knew I could tell my mom, but out of fear of her response to the offender, I didn’t want to risk being without her and I knew that whoever brought harm to her kids, she would be sure to deal with them. You may not agree with my logic as a child and that’s okay, but I did in my mind what I felt I needed to do. So I stayed silent and never told anyone for years. I spent the rest of my childhood being engulfed in my studies, being heavily involved in my church and of course, writing, journaling, singing and dancing.
Fast forward some years and I enter the dating phase. I’m In love, we talk marriage, and things didn’t work. I had become great at appearing well publicly while privately, I was a whole mess. I looked confident, but I felt worthless and dirty. I looked happy, but I was so broken. The weight of the world seemed to be on my shoulders as I began to have nightmares of those horrific encounters of being molested that I suppressed for years. I tried and for a long time it seemed as if those memories had been erased. Guess what though. They were still there. My life was so busy with good things. It became something I didn’t have time to deal with. And for me, It was just better that way. I was more concerned about being there for others and neglecting myself and loving others, not knowing if I loved myself. During this time of my life, I attempted suicide because I got tired of faking it and I didn’t know what to do. People leaned on me, relied on me, confided in me and I was just grateful to help and encourage others but couldn’t muster up the courage to think someone would do that for me too.
Life moved on, I fell in love and I got married, had beautiful babies and they are my world. This period of my life being young was not easy either. There were highs and lows and then extreme lows. I loved love and in moments I felt it didn’t love me back. I cried off and on for years and experienced betrayal like no other. At moments I felt fear, anger, sadness, bitterness and even felt crazy. I leaned on my Faith and prayed and prayed and to be transparent I turned my back on God for a moment because I was like “when? when is this going to get better?” I felt like I wasn’t enough. I felt ignored and like I wasn’t being considered. I grew silent and continued to take more and more thinking things would change all while the behavior and the red flags that I was seeing, I ignored. I wanted my marriage, wanted my family and compromised losing myself to save it and well I couldn’t. I remember sending my kids away because I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and I was. I wanted my family and I wanted our marriage but after 13 years it was officially over. We learn so much about ourselves in tough times but you learn a whole lot more once you are removed from the situation.
As I adjusted to a new normal, I was caring for my mom full time who was battling stage 4 breast cancer, running her childcare, homeschooling my children and still leading worship at my church. In the midst of all this, I began to experience peace and love from God like never before. Were things difficult, absolutely, but I didn’t feel alone anymore because I knew God was going to see me through. I had family, an amazing counselor, two mentors, faith leaders, girlfriends and a friend, turned Hubby who was with me through tough times. I had gone through so much when while at my kitchen table, I felt I heard the Lord say, “UnMuted.” I was like what? I heard it again, began researching and seeking God for what to do with this. Well, in less than three days, I had a mission, a vision, events that I felt compelled to do and then I looked at my life like when do I have time to do this? I desired to help people, but especially women and it was something I had to do. I had my mother’s support who said, “Do it,” and my now husband, Me’Lon, who said, “add Woman to UnMuted,” and here we are.
Has it been a smooth road?
A smooth road? Certainly not. A road I’ve learned to embrace. Our (UnMuted Woman’s) first event was scheduled for August 10, 2019. At the time, my mom’s health was declining rapidly, but her love and encouragement for me to get this event done never wavered. I had my now husband, family members, close friends, my dad and stepmom rallying around trying to gather what I needed for my conference so that I could continue to care for my mom because I was told that I had her spoiled and I did. But on August 4th, as I prepared my mom for bed at home, I realized she was having a stroke. Just earlier that day, she was getting on to me about making sure I had everything I needed for the conference and if I had secured her hotel room for her to be there with me (the conference was at a hotel) because we were going to spend the night. Two days later, on August 6th, I never imagined the day that the woman I admired would no longer be here with me. I was grieving my mother and had an event scheduled that people paid for that we advertised and promoted in 4 days. So what did we do? In honor of my mom, because I knew that’s what she would have wanted, we had our conference on August 10th and seven days later, I had to bury my mom. So do I still deal with this reality, yes but I have a healthy support system and I learned to open up and share my feelings in safe places.
UnMuted Woman’s second conference in January had it’s share of challenges along with low ticket sales initially to nearly a full room of beautiful and amazing women. We are now planning our 3rd conference in San Antonio, Texas. With the recent epidemic of the Coronavirus, we are now faced with a new set of challenges, unaware if our event will have to be rescheduled. In the midst of all this, My dream wedding to celebrate publicly with family and friends had to be canceled due to what is happening in our world with the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) epidemic. Ultimately the safety of our family and friends was a priority. Now your talking disappointing news and something that makes you question whether or not your built for this. Well guess what? I’m built for this and so are you. You are built to overcome any form of adversity with the right tools.
I can honestly say that UnMuted Woman has not, to this day, brought a financial profit to me. It has financially been costly to host the events in the manner that we choose to present and make every woman feel loved, adored, and enough. I am committed, along with my amazing team to helping women and what we do for a room full of women we would do for one. I’m driven by my purpose and passion that I believe God gave me to share with others. A profit is good, but there is no greater profit knowing that you assisted in making a difference in the life of a woman by helping her find her voice, unlocking it, using it, knowing her worth and value and healing from past traumas. That kind of profit is always the goal and there is never a price tag for that.
UnMuted Woman was birthed in my pain through my life experiences even though I didn’t know it at the time. So whatever comes to try and disrupt our mission and goal should be mindful of our resilience and fight for freedom with our voices and the power of our sisterhood with the backing of our Faith.
We’d love to hear more about your organziation.
UnMuted Woman is a sisterhood, a movement and ministry (we are not anti-men) that is designed to empower women of all ages, backgrounds and color. Through our conferences, we create a safe place for women not to feel ashamed or judged about anything in their past or present. We focus highly on respecting each other and looking to the women around us as our sisters and not our competition. So much power and strength is found in a room where we can remove our masks, take off our hats, breathe and be free to be ourselves in whatever state we are in at the moment.
Our conferences also provide exercises and ice-breakers to bring some excitement to the room. We focus on group activities that assist in creating a dialogue between women. This leads to building relationships and sharing our personal stories with other women. Throughout this time, as we share, we unknowingly are helping our sister next to us or across from us to no longer feel like they are the only one going through something. We may even hear from how a sister overcame something that now some woman is encouraged to know she can overcome as well. We are overcomers by what we say, speak and share and combined with Faith (in my case, my Faith in Jesus/Yeshua) is a powerful tool. Our silence keeps us trapped and confined to fear, shame, unforgiveness and hopelessness.
Attending one of our conferences, we hope it inspires others. I share some of my lessons, triumphs, failures on a more intimate basis with those who come to our conference. UnMuted Woman is about finding that inner voice in you that speaks truth, growth, Faith, purpose and promise. It is designed to help you and I become a better woman, mother, daughter, friend, servant and wife. We want and will constantly remind you of who you are and that includes focusing on deliverance, inner healing and tools to help you stay healed.
I am most proud of what UnMuted Woman has been able to do in the life of one woman. We have received inboxes and calls and text messages about how UnMuted Woman has made them better. And what is even more exciting is that they (the woman) then share with another woman what she learned or how she’s made changes for the better and so now another woman is encouraged. Listen, what we do if it helps one woman at a time, we are committed to being a light and an inspiration. We do our best to encourage through our online Facebook and Instagram pages to remind our sisters that we are here for them during our non-conference times.
I can’t speak for others, but what I believe sets us apart from others is our genuine love for women and to see every woman we encounter better than they were before we met them. We love people where they are and not for where we know they can be or desire to be. It is through the love that we hope we can pierce through the walls that disappointment and trauma created to get people to a place where they can release or unleash, find comfort, feel safe, get healing and move forward.
Is our city a good place to do what you do?
I feel that any city is a good place for women empowerment. I would suggest doing some research and finding out what is offered in your city first. Then I would recommend taking some time to see if what you desire to do resembles closely to something already available in your community? And listen, if it does, do not be discouraged. Now would be a great opportunity to brainstorm on finding what would separate or bring a level of uniqueness to it that represents you and still serve the purpose you intended. Be creative and utilize all your resources and strengths. Your empowerment for women may be online only or quarterly meetings. There is no right, wrong or only one way to do this successfully. Find your niche, though. Lastly, I would say, be committed to your vision. Be committed to experiencing some highs and lows. Be committed to possibly doing it alone. Be committed to building, step by step. Be committed to being consistent. Be more committed to the purpose than the profit because if you don’t make an initial profit, you’ll forfeit a great purpose that just needed your patience.
Contact Info:
- Email: unmutedwoman@gmail.com
- Instagram: @unmutedwoman
- Facebook: @UnMutedWoman
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