Today we’d like to introduce you to Ventura Ivory.
Hi Ventura, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
I’m Ventura and I’m just a little Black girl who loves Jesus. This is how I would always introduce myself in the past. Now that I’m in my mid-thirties and have accomplished some great things in my life, I’m choosing to look at things differently. I grew up in a town with about 1100 people and one red light. East Texas is not the easiest place to bloom as a plus sized black girl who loved poetry and N’SYNC, but I made it work. Coming from a broken home that was now facing poverty due to my mothers chronic illness, I found my refuge in poetry and extra curricular activities growing up. I got involved in many clubs in high school and became a student of leadership, harnessing my aptitude to boss everyone around and utilizing my public speaking skills that I gained growing up in church. I even started my own club in high school, a ministry called Teens and God.
When I left for college, I was looking forward to forging a new path, finding my tribe and becoming the girl I dreamt of being: smart, successful and in love. However, my life took a turn. While I was pledging for a sorority, God interrupted my life and called me to Himself once again, but this time, I answered with a full. I dropped line and my life hasn’t been the same since. I found myself back in ministry, going to Bible studies and in a real community with followers of Jesus who were young and on fire for Him. I served in college ministries my entire college career until I ultimately left college hoping to pursue ministry full time.
Then in 2015, my mother unexpectedly passed away. I had spent my adulthood up to that point taking care of her, driving her to appointments and living at home with her. We were absolutely inseparable. We talked on the phone five times a day even though we lived together. She was my everything and when she left, I was angry with God. It made me question everything I knew about Him and the church. It made me hate ministry and anything else that had kept me from spending more time with my mother. This began my journey of being tried by fire and becoming who I really was created to be.
My mother’s sudden passing sent me on a 10 year journey of self-discovery. From the outside it looked dangerous and like I was spiraling. From the inside it felt like a hot inferno of depression and anxiety. I was overcome with doubt, fear and self-hatred. Then in 2020 I had to make another life changing decision. Struggling with suicidal ideation and anxiety attacks that would pull me under for hours at a time, I knew I had to either learn to love myself or I was going to end it all. I knew I wanted to be here for my brother, so I decided to embark on a journey to self-love and acceptance. Since I hated my body but I wasn’t ready to change it, I knew I had to learn to accept who I was which started with believing that God accepted me.
After many tears, a lot of time with Jesus and many many hours of therapy, I can finally say I’m in that place of acceptance. My journey was public, as I used social media as a diary through my journey of self-love and acceptance. I went from anxiety attacks in a dressing room to wearing a bikini on Miami Beach and now I’m quite settled at a modest medium. I realized that I never showed my body not because I was modest and loved Jesus, but because I hated how I looked and I was ashamed of my apron belly and extra thigh meat. Now I know that I don’t have to accept the beauty standard that is thrown at me. Society does not shape my inner world anymore and I refuse to speak badly to myself about myself. Now a girl who used to have mental crises in dressing rooms does photoshoots and posts herself in all types of cute clothes on the internet!
Now I use my platform to encourage people all over the world to love themselves first. Scripture tells us that the whole law is summed up in these two commands: Love God with all your mind, with all your soul, with all your might and with all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself. I have to make sure I am loving me right so that the love I give myself overflows to everyone around me. That’s the message I share, that love begins within. Nothing in the world can take the place of inner work that truly changes the way you see yourself and everyone around you. Love begins first with receiving the love of God then loving who He made you to be. Once you take care of self, love begins to flow naturally in your other relationships. Love begins within.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
The road to self-love and acceptance is never easy. One of the first things I had to overcome was ripping up the list of who I thought I had to be to be loved. Once I realized that being thinner or wealthier or more educated wasn’t the way to feel better I knew that real love can never be earned. After ripping up my list came the battle with negative self-talk. To quote the proverb: as a man thinketh, so he is. I had to realize that I would never learn to love me if I spent my entire day tearing myself down. I never let anyone else tear me down because I always beat them to it. No one has ever been meaner to me than me.
I had to learn to speak kindly to myself, even when I messed up. That was hard. I was used to beating myself up. I was used to calling myself fat. I was used to saying no one will ever want a girl who looks like this and you’re always gonna struggle. So, I had to change my language. At first it felt like I was lying. Lol. However, I had to keep at it until I believed the good things I would say. Then, eventually, it got easier and became default. I still struggle, of course, but I have learned to course correct which has done wonders for me.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a multi-hyphenate who loves to curate spaces where people can encounter God and each other. Whether it’s a Faccebook Live event, a podcast, a worship night or a devotional, I want to create safe spaces for people everywhere I go. I think that’s because as a child I didn’t always feel safe having struggled with anxiety from an early age.
In 2015 I started Women Blooming in Ministry Corporation, known as WBIM. This became an idea from God to create space for women in ministry in business to connect with each other and build each other up. Under the original name, Remarkable Wisdom Women’s Network, we built an online community of women who owned small businesses or offered different types of ministry like praise dance or preaching. We officially had our first event in 2019 hosted in Nacogdoches, TX. I had an all woman worship team and line up with a serve team of all men. I feel like in church it’s often men on stage and women behind the scenes, especially in East Texas, so WBIM exists to platform women for the glory of God. Each year we hold a conference and it grows every time.
I have been writing since the age of 12, so naturally I published my first book in 2018, It was a collection of original poems I had written over the years. Since then, I have published two more poetry books, a devotional and created a suite of journals for the everyday believer. Journaling and poetry have changed my life. When I didn’t feel safe, I could always open a composition book and work through my feelings with powerful words. I’ll never stop creating journals for people.
My devotional is called Knit Together. I am very passionate about helping people find purpose in life and walk in their gifts. Knit together is a devotional that helps folks follow the bread crumbs of their lives back to the moment God made them in order to discover their true identity. I believe true success cannot be found unless you are working in what you are made to do. Based off Psalm 139, it helps the believer uncover who God knit them together to be. It is there that we find true purpose.
What I am most proud of is relaunching my podcast as a YouTube Show this year. The Ivory Room is a safe space for millennials to have real conversations about God, culture, relationships and more. I invite people into my home who are not famous and don’t have thousands of social media followers to have hard conversations, tell vulnerable stories and share what God has created them to do with the world. As someone who loves to host and have deep conversations, this is truly my lane. We are in our first season on YouTube and I am very excited to see where it goes.
In addition to this all, I have a full time job and I serve as an executive pastor and children’s and media director at my local church. I thrive on systems, smooth events and curating spaces for people to be in God’s presence because that is where true change happens. I love working with children because it challenges me to be able to explain my faith well. And I enjoy doing media because presentation and branding make a huge difference.
Ultimately, my purpose in life is to encourage people beyond their borders. I accomplish this through books, speaking engagements, conferences, short form content on my socials, podcasting on YouTube and pastoring at my local church. I am passionate about seeing people reach their full potential and these avenues help me see those results everyday.
Let’s talk about our city – what do you love? What do you not love?
I live in Nacogdoches, TX and I love the scenery, the pine trees, the landscapes and that it is only two hours from bustling Houston. What I like the least would probably be the small mindedness of some people. It’s time to expand the mind and travel beyond the horizon!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://venturakaneesh.square.site
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/itsventurakaneesh
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/venturakaneesh
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/theivoryroomwithventurakaneesh
