We recently had the chance to connect with Dr KayLa N. Allen-Young and have shared our conversation below.
KayLa N., really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Outside of work, one of the greatest sources of joy in my life right now is my church community and the deepening of my relationship with God. Entering marriage last year, my husband and I were intentional about grounding our union in faith, and that foundation has only grown richer and more life-giving over time. Through prayer, fasting, and sacred rhythms of reflection, this season has brought clarity, peace, and spiritual alignment that extends into every part of my life. Walking forward with God at the center—individually and together—has been a steady, anchoring joy.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Dr. KayLa N. Allen-Young, and I am an identity development and cultural proficiency expert, speaker, and the founder of Dear Mixed Girl®. Through Dear Mixed Girl, I support girls ages 12–18, their families, and leaders in children-centered spaces as they navigate identity, belonging, and confidence in a complex world. What makes my work unique is the way I blend evidence-based frameworks from public health, psychology, and emotional intelligence with lived experience, faith, and deep empathy. Dear Mixed Girl is not story-based or surface-level—it is rooted in intentional skill-building, reflection, and environments that help young people thrive across every season of growth. At this stage of my journey, I am focused on expanding my speaking and training work while building resources that create lasting impact for families, schools, children-centered leaders/organizations, and communities.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
The bonds between people are most often broken by misunderstanding, unspoken pain, and environments that do not make room for people to be fully seen. When identity is dismissed, emotions are invalidated, or curiosity is replaced with assumptions, distance quietly takes root. What restores those bonds is intentional presence—listening without defensiveness, creating space for truth, and honoring the lived experiences people carry. In my work, I’ve seen how empathy, emotional literacy, and culturally responsive environments can repair trust and strengthen connection over time. Ultimately, bonds are restored when people feel safe enough to belong without having to shrink or perform.
When did you last change your mind about something important?
I last changed my mind about something important when I made the intentional decision to fully integrate faith and spirituality into the work of Dear Mixed Girl. Earlier in my journey, I felt pressure to compartmentalize—concerned that being explicit about faith might limit opportunities or make others uncomfortable. Through prayer, discernment, and lived experience, I realized that silencing that part of myself was actually diminishing the depth and honesty of my work. My approach has never been about preaching or persuading, but about leading with integrity and making space for values, reflection, and purpose—allowing people to engage in ways that feel respectful and empowering. Choosing alignment over fear has strengthened my voice, clarified my mission, and expanded the impact of my work.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
My closest friends would say that what really matters to me is being present and truly listening—holding space with patience, kindness, and compassion. They would likely add that I bring warmth and joy into relationships, balancing depth with playfulness, humor, and a bit of goofiness that makes people feel at ease. They would also say I’m someone who loves creating moments of connection, whether that’s through meaningful conversation, showing up consistently, or baking for others—especially during Christmas, which I adore. Above all, they would say I care deeply about living with integrity and helping people feel seen, valued, and free to be themselves.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope the story people tell about me is that I lived in alignment with God, love, and the responsibility to care for others well. That I listened deeply, led with compassion, and helped create spaces where children, families, and leaders felt safe to grow into who they were created to be. I hope they say I spoke truth with kindness, honored faith without fear, and used both wisdom and courage to challenge systems that limited belonging. Above all, I hope they remember that my life pointed beyond itself—toward hope, identity, and the quiet strength that comes from walking humbly with God.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://dearmixedgirl.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dearmixedgirlofficial
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dearmixedgirlofficial/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DearMixedGirlOfficial/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DearMixedGirlOfficial
