Jill Robin Payne shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Jill Robin, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What’s more important to you—intelligence, energy, or integrity?
Integrity in today’s age is extremely important. Being honest, truthful, and staying true to your values is more important than intelligence. It means having strong principles and doing the right thing even when no one’s watching. It’s about being whole and consistent, not divided or fake, which takes some intelligence and know-how.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
“Everything is relational” is my mindset and how I see the world. Growing up with parents who modeled this – my dad an ophthalmologist and my mom a philanthropist – they were the first to positively influence relationships and help people better their lives.
Now, as a psychosocial therapist who is consistently featured on both national and local media, I am a Dream Life Motivator™, author and creator of Bempathy®, a fresh take on communication that guides others to create genuine connections and reach their dreams.
What is Bempathy® and what makes it special? It’s a powerful mix of banter, empathy, and a win-win mindset that helps people slow down, connect authentically, and enjoy conversations that create genuine connections in today’s fast-paced, AI-driven world. A type of negotiation. It is built on real personality dynamics: Leader, Follower, and Compromiser, because who you are shapes how you connect. In some of my books, they are illustrated as adorable cartoon characters. They remind you that while “you are the center of your world, you are not the center of the world.”
Connection has always been my passion. I earned a B.S. in Recreational Therapy, a Master’s in Clinical/Counseling Psychology, and two licenses, then spent more than 40 years helping people build friendships and relationships that last. Through my Bempathy® books and work, I help people turn small talk into empathetic, meaningful conversations that truly connect and make it fun in a world filled with “too much. When both people feel they have won, magic happens.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. Who taught you the most about work?
My dad, who was an ophthalmologist, was a big influence on me with his wonderful work ethic, intelligence, and dedication to helping people literally “see better.” I would go with him every Saturday morning to visit his patients after their cataract surgeries. In those days, patients stayed overnight in the hospital. I worked for him a couple of summers to see how a business is run. We would have conversations about life and work over breakfast at Big Boy’s, enjoying our favorite two-inch-thick French toast. Those wonderful memories always make me smile.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering and making mistakes make us all stronger, more knowledgeable, and successful. I am no different. Moving to Houston on my own, going from job to job, meeting strangers, finding love, moving back home to Virginia, going to Georgetown to get another degree, marrying the person I had left, putting him through law school, having a baby, divorcing, going back to school to get a master’s with a two-year-old while working full time—only to graduate working three jobs to pay bills and raising a son who is now a family medicine doctor and happily married. During that time, I made sure we lived close to his dad so they could see each other every day. He was so close to his other family that his brother, also a doctor, roomed with him and traveled with him. This journey makes me a great therapist because I can empathize, relate, and help people avoid the mistakes I made. The people who come to see me reach their dreams.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
Smart people are getting “generative AI” totally wrong. There are pros and cons to using and working with AI. The mistake comes in when we think of AI as a person rather than a “Thing!” This is because of phenomena called the Eliza Effect and Anthropomorphism. Both basically involve projecting human characteristics onto AI, which is a human tendency. Smart people also think AI is smarter than them. It is not. It hallucinates (makes things up); it doesn’t have intuition, soul, or empathy. All these are needed when making decisions, getting along with people, and achieving life dreams. We need to remember that “The internet” is AI’s parent, not us. The internet is filled with false statements and biases. The bottom line is we all need to be educated on any ‘tool’, including AI, before we use it so that we can use it in the right way. Enjoy controlling AI effectively.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
When I leave this earth, my hope is that people will talk about how I’ve made positive changes in other people’s lives, helping them reach their dreams using my innovative reciprocal communication concept, Bempathy® – a blend of banter with empathy and a win/win mindset. A type of negotiation needed in our fast-paced, AI-driven digital world, especially my Map of Reflection® found in my book Bempathy®: Simplify Communication by Looking at the Third Side of the Coin and Meeting People: It’s Not a Game – Your Path to Genuine Connections Thru Bempathy®, where they learn how to make genuine relationships in a world filled with virtual existence.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jillrobinpayne.com/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jill-robin-payne/
- Twitter: https://x.com/JillRobinPayne
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillRobinPayne
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/jill-robin-payne-houston
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JillRobinPayne
- Other: google/jillrobinpayne
